One night I was walking into a bar and restaurant to meet a friend upstairs. There was a rooftop on the third floor. I was going to see my friend when I passed a table of sixteen women celebrating a birthday.
I was already walking in with confidence. I hadn't planned for that table. In stride, I asked, “Whose birthday are we celebrating?”
They laughed. I said something about how pretty they looked, wished them a great night and went upstairs to my friend.
The opening appeared while I was doing something else
The thing I wanted to explain was that the opportunity was unexpected. I had been thinking about going upstairs. Then they were there, and I said something.
I didn't stop and wait around working out the words. It was spontaneous. That is the part of the story I was pointing to when I talked about hesitation.
I had spent a lot of time going out to practice. By the time of this story, I was bringing confidence with me. The short exchange came while I was already out living my life.
A moment to finish a point
In a different group conversation, I said, “Can you give me two seconds and then I'll stop talking?” Then I went back to the person I was speaking with and finished the point. That is another actual exchange I've shared.
My heart was still racing
When I described that table of sixteen in my dictated notes, I also said I felt my heart racing. Yeah, you damn well bet I felt it. I had learned to keep doing it even when I felt some nervousness.
“Feel the fear and just fucking do it” was how I put it. There was practice behind that choice. The confidence in the story came with that feeling too.