# What did I do when I saw an opening to speak to a group?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

One night I was walking into a bar and restaurant to meet a friend upstairs. There was a rooftop on the third floor. I was going to see my friend when I passed a table of sixteen women celebrating a birthday.

I was already walking in with confidence. I hadn't planned for that table. In stride, I asked, “Whose birthday are we celebrating?”

They laughed. I said something about how pretty they looked, wished them a great night and went upstairs to my friend.

## The opening appeared while I was doing something else

The thing I wanted to explain was that the opportunity was unexpected. I had been thinking about going upstairs. Then they were there, and I said something.

I didn't stop and wait around working out the words. It was [spontaneous](/starting-conversations-when-you-stutter). That is the part of the story I was pointing to when I talked about hesitation.

I had spent a lot of time going out to practice. By the time of this story, I was bringing confidence with me. The short exchange came while I was already out living my life.

## A moment to finish a point

In a different group conversation, I said, “Can you give me two seconds and then I'll stop talking?” Then I went back to the person I was speaking with and finished the point. That is [another actual exchange](/when-listeners-rush-your-speech) I've shared.

## My heart was still racing

When I described that table of sixteen in my dictated notes, I also said I felt my heart racing. Yeah, you damn well bet I felt it. I had learned to keep doing it even when I felt some nervousness.

“Feel the fear and just fucking do it” was how I put it. There was [practice behind that choice](/stuttering-when-nervous). The confidence in the story came with that feeling too.

## Related answers

- [What do I try to do before a work meeting starts?](/stuttering-in-meetings)

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