A lot of the cost was in things I didn't try. Chances I let slip away because I was scared. People didn't always have to tell me no; I had already taken myself out of it.
I looked at work through my speech. How much talking would I have to do? I have also described feeling passed over for promotions. Those feelings were part of the life I was trying to change.
I wanted my speech at work
A meeting, a call, speaking with my boss or a client: those were situations I wanted to handle. When someone important asked me to speak, I knew the feeling of my heart dropping.
I worked on using my voice early in a meeting. I wrote down personal details people mentioned so I had something real to ask them the next time. I was doing that for my speech.
Sometimes the task arrived quickly
On one process-improvement project, a senior person told the three of us we would be presenting at the company's town halls. We had four days. It turned into seven panels over two days.
I was nervous and worked hard. Between sessions, I took a few minutes for my music before going back. I wanted the work I'd been doing on my speech to be there when a situation like that came.
That was why I kept testing what I learned in actual work situations: applying for jobs, presenting to colleagues, making calls. I wanted to be able to use it.
A participant described a job he once would not have considered
Crimson, a police officer I spoke with in a group call, told me he still had difficult days and still stuttered, including at work. He said his job knew and was fine with it.
He said this was a job he once would not have thought of doing. Being out, talking with people and answering their questions mattered to him. His words were: “I need to go out there. I need to talk with people. And I need to be around people. And then have them ask me stuff.”
Crimson: And then answer those questions.
A caller described somebody else telling him no
A caller from Oman told me about an opportunity to become a commercial pilot. He said he had been told they didn't want somebody who stuttered. I was sorry to hear it. So much of my own cost had been the risks I didn't take or opportunities I let go before somebody could tell me no.
Craig: a lot of mine was things I did not do risks I did not take or chances I let slip through my hands but with you you actually got a real no
He also told me what he wanted to do next: cybersecurity, the direction he had wanted to pursue as a child. The pilot opportunity had excited him, and he described being hurt when it ended. He was now talking about a different direction he wanted for himself.