I learned to play music that made me feel alive before I went out to speak. The kind of music I'd run to or work out to. Something I could get into.
A lot of the work I did was alone. I could have ten or twenty minutes in the car before going somewhere to practice. I learned that I could spend that drive replaying the worst memories, or I could play something that changed how I felt.
The connection began with the gym. People play music to feel good, to get some intensity and push themselves. I tried applying that idea to the state I brought into a speaking situation.
What was I listening for?
Rap, rock, pop: I wasn't asking for one particular genre. I wanted songs that made me feel alive. The question was what the music did for my own mood and energy.
I could begin to feel a little bigger, a little more pumped up, a little less intimidated. The thoughts in my head changed temporarily too. I wasn't spending every moment of the drive predicting the speech that would go badly.
I said that music did not fix my stutter alone or give me perfect speech. I was trying to give my speech the best chance when I arrived.
The experiment I asked people to try
I described going and having a conversation as you normally would. Then I suggested trying a conversation after playing songs that made you feel alive. It could be a call or another situation where you usually felt intimidated.
I asked people to notice whether there was a small difference. Then I asked them to tell me three things: what song they played, how it made them feel and what result they noticed.
I also said not to judge it from a single attempt. I was explaining how I looked for small improvements during a much longer process. I wanted something I could notice, work with and build on.
I used it while a speaking challenge was still going on
At work, I had to take part in seven town-hall panels over two days. We had four days to prepare. I worked hard, did well and was very nervous.
There were five-minute gaps between the sessions. I went to the bathroom most of the time and played my pump-up song. It was something I did for myself in the middle of the chaos, before going back into the next session.
That is why the town-hall story belongs beside this idea. The car ride was one opportunity. A few minutes between presentations was another. I used something familiar at a moment when I still had more speaking to do.
Then I still had to have the conversation
In the grocery demonstration, music sat alongside reading out loud and remembering a time my speech had been a little better. Then I walked in, noticed someone looking at cookies and spoke to him.
Finding the opening, hearing the answer and responding were skills I had to practice too. Music was one part of how I prepared for that work. There was no single thing I did that carried the whole journey for me.