I know the feeling of suddenly needing to speak to someone I regard as important. I can feel tiny in front of them. The situation becomes about their authority and what might go wrong with my speech.
In a work conversation with Don, I described reaching for the feeling of a time when I had spoken well. I wanted the memory of confidence available when I hadn't had a long time to prepare.
The work situation I asked him to imagine
I used the example of a client walking in unexpectedly, or finding the big boss there, or being asked to address a group of important people. I wasn't describing a single completed event. I was explaining the kind of surprise a workday can bring.
What I wanted him to recall was the feeling from previous successes. What was it like when he knew he could talk? How did that confidence feel?
That preparation through memory came from things I had already experienced. I wanted to bring something useful into a situation that was suddenly in front of me.
The encounter I didn't expect after a comedy show
I also told a real story from leaving a comedy show. There had been a line to get out, and we were near a side door. I wasn't expecting to see anybody in particular.
Then a quarterback came out through a door and walked toward us. I said hello, shook his hand and said, “thanks for being you.” I thought he was a good guy. He laughed and thanked me.
I felt a little silly about what I said. But I knew I wanted to say something. I didn't have a clever speech ready.
Why I didn't turn it into a longer encounter
He was on his way out. I wanted to be respectful, and I didn't want to stop him for a picture. I greeted him and let the moment be what it was.
That is the part I wanted to explain: I didn't know exactly what to say, but I knew I was going to say something. It could be short. It could be ordinary.
There was practice behind being able to respond
I had spent years learning to speak without planning every word first. Sometimes I had blocked or wasn't quick enough. I kept practicing so I could respond to what was in front of me.
The unexpected greeting and the imagined work demand are different examples. One records something I said. The other explains the kind of confidence I would reach for when a task arrived suddenly.
I saw him as we came out, wanted to say something, and did. It was an encounter I remembered because I took the chance to greet him.