# What do I reach for when I am suddenly put on the spot?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

I know the feeling of suddenly needing to speak to someone I regard as important. I can feel tiny in front of them. The situation becomes about their authority and what might go wrong with my speech.

In a work conversation with Don, I described reaching for the feeling of a time when I had spoken well. I wanted the memory of confidence available when I hadn't had a long time to prepare.

## The work situation I asked him to imagine

I used the example of a client walking in unexpectedly, or finding the big boss there, or being asked to address a group of important people. I wasn't describing a single completed event. I was explaining the kind of surprise a workday can bring.

What I wanted him to recall was the feeling from previous successes. What was it like when he knew he could talk? How did that confidence feel?

[That preparation through memory](/small-speaking-successes) came from things I had already experienced. I wanted to bring something useful into a situation that was suddenly in front of me.

## The encounter I didn't expect after a comedy show

I also told a real story from leaving a comedy show. There had been a line to get out, and we were near a side door. I wasn't expecting to see anybody in particular.

Then a quarterback came out through a door and walked toward us. I said hello, shook his hand and said, “thanks for being you.” I thought he was a good guy. He laughed and thanked me.

I felt a little silly about what I said. But I knew I wanted to say something. I didn't have a clever speech ready.

## Why I didn't turn it into a longer encounter

He was on his way out. I wanted to be respectful, and I didn't want to stop him for a picture. I greeted him and let the moment be what it was.

That is the part I wanted to explain: I didn't know exactly what to say, but I knew I was going to say something. It could be short. It could be ordinary.

## There was practice behind being able to respond

I had spent years learning to speak without planning every word first. Sometimes I had blocked or wasn't quick enough. I kept practicing so I could respond to what was in front of me.

The unexpected greeting and the imagined work demand are different examples. One records something I said. The other explains the kind of confidence I would reach for when a task arrived suddenly.

I saw him as we came out, wanted to say something, and did. It was an encounter I remembered because I took the chance to greet him.

## Related answers

- [How did I learn to feel more confident before speaking?](/confidence-before-speaking)
- [What happened when my practice did not work?](/when-stuttering-practice-goes-badly)

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