Because I would rather say a different word that I can get out than stand there forcing a word through a hard block. I’ve said that directly.
One of my philosophies is fluency above all else. Fluency at any cost. That is how strongly I felt about wanting to be able to talk.
So when somebody says word swapping is bad, I don’t agree. I would rather see someone word swap and not block than block. That is my preference when the other word preserves the meaning. I also want the person speaking to have a choice.
I wanted to finish the thought
In my dictated notes, I explained what I meant by saying what I wanted. It did not always have to be the exact word. I had to be able to express myself.
I used an imagined phone call: pretend I'm twenty-two, testing things while my speech is still bad, and there's a word I expect to block on. I described choosing another word, finishing the sentence and getting the whole thought out.
I said it could seem odd at first. What mattered in that example was that I could say what I wanted to express. That is the reason I gave for the choice.
The name for an order was one example
When I was buying food or coffee and the name did not matter, I would rather choose a name I could say. I wasn’t interested in forcing my way through my real name just to prove I could do it.
I was thinking about carrying momentum through the day. That is the way I explained the choice. I wanted the best speech I could bring into the next conversation too.
I’m also the same guy telling you to go and talk to strangers. In that group call, someone said a fake name would make him feel worse at night. I explained my view and heard his objection.
What did someone tell me about avoiding words over time?
In another conversation, someone told me his speech had been nearly flawless in his late teens apart from a few words. He could hide the problem as long as he didn't say those words. He said that turned into a mistake for him.
He described constantly trying to hide it, becoming more anxious, and his speech getting worse. He said it kept sliding until he could hardly say a few words without stuttering badly. He wanted to get back the fluency he remembered having.
I said, “I respect what you're saying and let's keep talking.” I told him I could share what worked for me. That was his account of what happened as he kept hiding words, and that was my response.
I have also talked about words that do matter
In the coffee-order explanation, I said that if you are dealing with a person in authority who needs your real name, you give your real name.
I’ve also said I would drop a word unless I had to say it, like for a doctor. Those exceptions are part of the things I have actually said.
In the book, I also made an exception for a true emergency where you had to tell the authorities something.
My preference for another word is clear when it expresses the same thought. It gives me a way to keep speaking. An exact name or medical detail still needs to be accurate, and I respect a person who prefers to use the original word. My explanation of an easier order name describes that choice and the harsh judgment I have also made about myself.