For me, saying my name to somebody with authority was a real challenge. So when I worked with an Intentional Dream, I made it specific. I saw myself introducing myself to doctors, because that was something I actually needed to do for work.
It was a person. A setting. Something I wanted to say. And I paid attention to how I wanted to feel while I did it.
That's more concrete than just telling myself that one day everything would be better.
What do I ask when the goal is vague?
Someone told me they wanted to be more assertive. I asked where they wanted that to happen. At a restaurant? At a bar? With a particular person? They chose relationships with family and friends, and we started with a family member.
Then I asked where they would be. In a house, outside, at a restaurant or a park? They chose a family gathering. I asked whether there would be a lot of people around or just one or two. They said one or two.
Now we had a scene. I described responding to something the family member said, being assertive, standing a little taller and sounding a little louder. I wanted the person to imagine how confident they would feel doing it. Those were details we put into the picture together.
In my own picture, the introduction mattered because it was something I feared. I could see myself shaking the person's hand. I brought in the feeling of a happy memory, something I could actually remember feeling.
That's how I explained my preparation. I wasn't just repeating the name of the problem.
What did I ask about the life beyond speaking?
In my notes, I asked, “If you didn’t stutter, what would you do with your life?” Your personal life. Your professional life. Recreation and hobbies. Those were the parts of life I wanted you to think about.
I also ask about a small success that has already happened
In my self-talk video, I ask you to think of a time your speech went better than expected. I use examples such as saying your phone number, your address or your name. Those are prompts to help you find a moment from your own life.
Then I ask what you said to yourself. Was there a quiet “Man, I nailed that” alongside the thought that you wished it could happen all the time?
Find something small you can be excited about. Remember what you said to yourself when it was over. That is the actual speaking experience I am asking you to bring back into your mind.