I started while I was still stuttering. That is a big part of the story. I noticed that approaching someone could feel a little less intimidating than waiting for them to approach me. My speech was still hard, but slightly better gave me something to work with.
I challenged myself to talk to one new person a day. At a store with my parents, I could ask an employee a question. At school, I could talk to someone I didn't know. I was using opportunities that were already in my day.
The approach and the conversation were both practice
I had to make myself walk up and say something. Once I did, I had to listen to the response and try to say something back. That was the ordinary exchange I needed practice with.
I had spent years planning what I would say and what the other person might ask. Giving that up was hard. I wanted to trust that I could find words as the conversation developed, and there were plenty of times I couldn't do it the way I wanted.
I blocked. Someone said something and I wasn't quick enough. I went out and tried again while still figuring out how it worked for me.
A fluent opening didn't mean the rest was easy
One afternoon at the University of Florida, I approached a girl and asked fluently whether she wanted to get ice cream. That part went well. Then we had the conversation, and I struggled with ordinary details about myself: my hometown, my major and my fraternity.
I ordered chocolate because vanilla was harder for me to say, even though vanilla was what I wanted. When I explain that afternoon, I describe it as a step in my process. I was gaining confidence while still learning how to maintain my speech and be spontaneous.
That is a much better picture of my practice than imagining every attempt was smooth. I could get one part out and still have a hard time with the next part.
I had to decide what I would do with the time
I made a personal decision that I might be stuttering for years more. I didn't know how long. I could spend that time working on my speech or remain where I was. I chose to work.
That involved trying an idea, seeing what happened in a real situation and refining it. It also involved the way I spoke to myself afterward. I had been very quick to attack myself over difficult speech. I wanted to learn to notice a small experience that had gone better too.
There were days I backed down. I have said that. There were days I wanted to stay in bed, and there were times when I was trying and progress wasn't happening all the time. I know that part of it as well.
So when you see me talking now, understand where I began. I didn't wait for the stutter to be gone before I practiced. I began with an approach I could try, a person I could talk to and a small difference I wanted to understand. The daily challenge was part of that work.