Fluency is won. Each day you win it again the next fucking day. It's one conversation at a time.
The fluency I bring on a Tuesday still has to be brought again on a Thursday. A new conversation, a new person, a new day. I have to speak then and there.
What do I keep doing?
I work on my beliefs. I practice. I work on how to have a conversation. The things I share helped me become fluent, and I still use them.
Most of the time it's subconscious now, because I've done it for so many years. Listening to the person, speaking, being in the conversation: this became part of how I live.
Can a good day give me confidence for tomorrow?
Someone challenged me on this. He said a fluent day could give him the belief that he could do it again. I pushed back because I didn't think one good day meant a run of good days would follow. A new conversation still needed me to speak.
He clarified that he meant using the good day for confidence while continuing to work. He wasn't talking about getting complacent. He was talking about remembering that he'd done it before.
I still said those thoughts had never got me the speech I wanted. Then I explained the part I did use: when I have a good speaking conversation, I think about it. Thinking about my wins, even what goes pretty okay, is important to me. That is also what I mean when I ask someone to remember a small success.
What am I doing while the conversation is happening?
In another call, I spoke strongly about how thinking about my good speech could get me into trouble while I was talking. My instruction there was to concentrate on the other person's words, the way they sounded, and what they were saying. That is the exchange I describe in the listening answer.
The preparation changed over time
Earlier, I would prepare before calls again and again. As I got better, I could do it for a few minutes. Later, I was mainly doing that deliberate preparation for huge calls. I have explained how that changed.
When I say I beat my stutter, I don't mean a cure. I'm still interested in having high confidence in my speech. As I've put it, I want to kick ass. I want to be smooth. Sometimes I'm super smooth, and sometimes I'm human and it's an okay day.
Craig: Like it's always practice, right? I keep the tools sharp. I practice all the time. Right. And I think of it like it's a game.