Chapter 28. MY NAME IS CRAIG
There is no such thing as being normal
What I've learned from years of stuttering and years of increased fluency: there is no such thing as being normal. To have my thoughts dominated by what normal people think about. To live life worried about normal people's thoughts. To not constantly worry about what word I was going to say next. To just get the pressure that constantly lived in my chest, get that feeling out of my body. Please God, I used to repeat, just let me be normal.
I bet you are a good person who just wants to be normal. That described me exactly.
You're a kid, you have a birthday party, 6, 7, 8, 9, right, and 10, and people are gathered around, and happy birthday, whoever. Craig. I just remember everyone was happy, and in this moment, the world felt like it's slowed down. As I closed my eyes, I thought, again, for the same wish on yet another birthday, I just wanted to be normal. By that, you know what I mean. I meant my speech. That was the only thing I wanted. In fact, when I used to cry myself to sleep I kept repeating I just wanted to be normal. I threw in a few why God, why me, but that came with the territory. The territory of suffering with stuttering. Of living with a situation that everyone heard and most people did not understand. I never told my mom what my birthday wish was.
There is no such thing as being normal. As I said before, I just wanted to be normal. The wish to speak fluently is different than the wish to be normal. There is no such thing as normalcy. People think about all kinds of different things. People worry about all kinds of different things too. I would have wished for increased fluency if I was to be wishing on this topic again. Just let me have increased fluency. That would have been my prayer.
Just like Jonah in the whale
I'm sitting in my favorite hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. It's early on a Friday morning, and the world is just waking up. I hope the stuttering world is waking up to what it actually took me to overcome stuttering once and for all.
Why am I doing this? What is my angle, Craig? Well, let me tell you. I never wanted to. I tried to run away from teaching how to stop stuttering, how I beat my stutter, for a lot of years. Why? Well, because it's not fun. It's not fun to talk about stuttering once you've beaten yours. It's not fun to be back in this stuttering world, in my opinion. No, I left it for good. But just like Jonah in the whale, the famous Bible story, and I'm not a religious guy, but it's a good story.
He tried to run away from his promise, or a responsibility, and he could not outrun it. Well, guess what? I tried to outrun mine. Look, I was 14. I did not know much, but I knew I would find a way to beat my stutter. It took a long time, from 14 into when I figured out how to beat it. But that was the promise I made myself. This, what you're seeing now, is the fulfillment of that.
I left a corporate career in order to fulfill the promise I made to God. I never wanted to work with stutterers. No offense to you, you're probably cool. But once I overcame stuttering, I wanted just to live free. Who can blame me? After all, I stuttered badly from ages 7 to 21, and now I learned to love going out! You might too, if you could say what you wanted, when you wanted, to who you wanted.
What if you can make your speech 10 percent better?
Paradigm shift. What does that even mean, man? It means looking at where you are, and looking at where I am, and how to bridge that gap. What if you can make your speech 10 percent better? Or what if you can make it 25% better? Or what if you can make it 50%, but you still stutter, but it's half as bad? Well, how would your life change? You get to say what you want, when you want, to whom you want.
I really want you to beat your stutter, or to have improvement in your life that makes you happy, because I care about you. Because when I was stuttering, no one was there for me. It was painful. I cried myself to
sleep, and I asked God, why me? But you don't have to do it forever, because I'm showing you how. Look, I can't go back in time and fix my own stutter when I was struggling badly, right? The next best thing I can do is to help you on your journey to stutter less.
I used to stutter, and I don't
I used to stutter, which is like a speech impediment, and I don't. I just like to tell people, like, encourage them, like, they can beat their stutter too. See, guys, it's very possible.
If I can do it, you can do it
This whole idea of what scares you, you can flip it right on your f*cking head. The idea of what you think your life can be like, you can turn it upside down. There is room for optimism in the stuttering world. There's room for positivity. There's room for change. If I can do it, you can do it. I can't promise the results, but I can say, I'm no genius. I was just very determined. Now I can shortcut it for you.
It's ballsy as hell. I know you can do it, because I've done it. I made it up and created this. If I can do it, you can do it. When you go out, all things are possible. When you go out, you can make friends. When you go out, you can find people to date. You can do anything. I believe in you. You've got this.
It's not your fault. Not my fault. It's not our fault.
I'm trying to prove that we can change lives with one conversation.
Can I get a name for the order?
I used to look at the names of things, like the flavor of the coffee, and figure out what I would, what I could say, and I would get that. But now I can say anything. Hey, what's up, man? How you doing? Can I get a pour over coffee? For here, please. My name is Craig. Thank you very much. See, it goes like that.