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https://usedtostutter.com/reader/book/editions/final-2026-09-22-ca5394386fc0/chapters/what-kept-me-stuttering

Chapter 7. WHAT KEPT ME STUTTERING I Don't Know Why I Started to Stutter, but I Know Why I Kept Stuttering I started stuttering when I was in grade two. My mom told me I came home from school and started to stutter. It's not your fault, not my fault. It's not our fault, and it's not simple to fix. But it's in our mind. My beliefs were that I stutter. That I am a stutterer. It's hard to talk. I can't say my name. Oh, I'm gonna stutter for the rest of my life. I don't know why I started to stutter, but I know why I kept stuttering. It was because when you start to think about stuttering, and you think about trying to not stutter, those thoughts did not help me ever. If you want to hear some cool sh*t, the thing about life that I never knew when I was in your shoes, it's that it's all mind based. Like the whole f*cking thing. Like stuttering. Like I don't know what caused me to stutter. But I know what kept me stuttering, and I know what broke my stutter. So let me tell you what it was. I know that you're a smart guy. But it wasn't being nervous. Like, that's not what kept me stuttering. It was that my mind was always obsessively focusing on me stuttering, and the worry about what I did, and how sh*tty I felt, and what I worried about speaking. Like the thoughts people have when they stutter. That's what kept me stuttering for 24 years. It was going to bed thinking about the worst parts about my day, and worried about the worst parts about the next day tomorrow. Do you worry when you lie down at night? Your fluency is determined, in my opinion, by what you believe to be true See, I think you need to learn about how the mind works, and not the brain, but the mind. There's a distinction. There's a classic book from a long time ago that does a nice job of explaining a core principle, but it doesn't talk about stuttering, but it's still a core principle. The thing that I now know, it's that your fluency is determined, in my opinion, by what you believe to be true. Maybe it sounds crazy, and maybe no one talks about this, and maybe the stuttering industrial complex would say you should hang him, and maybe my friend Kathy would think I'm full of crap. But this is my belief, and I'm sitting here, right, I'm sitting in the seat that I wanted to be in, and I'm saying that, in my personal opinion, it's the beliefs. Like, I don't know why we started to stutter. But when we call ourselves a stutterer, when we constantly dream about it, think about it, constantly have it on our minds, well, you believe it. But I believe that I'm a confident speaker. I'm a big believer of beliefs. That our beliefs will govern our lives. So if you're struggling with your stutter and you're thinking about stuttering all day long, pick up the book Magic of Believing and read it today. This is one of the most impactful books I've ever read, and I own 4 copies of it currently, and I pass out copies to people who I come across in my daily walk of life who I think can benefit. A side note, none of these people stutter. Your brain changed. Your beliefs changed. What do beliefs have anything to do with beating a stutter? That's bullsh*t. Maybe. But it's not, really. Why? Because before you started to stutter, let's say you started to talk when you were 3, but you started to stutter when you were 6. At age 3, you're speaking fine. You never thought about what it took to talk. You just spoke. Then something happened. You started to stutter. Maybe it was trauma. I'm not sure. But when you started to stutter, you felt that it became hard to speak, and your brain changed. Your beliefs changed. From not thinking about anything, to talking where you could speak, to believing it was hard to talk. You had these blocks. You weren't sure. I get it. It's not your fault. But I want to call you out on your sh*t. Your beliefs haven't changed from when you started to stutter at age 6 to now. Let's say that you're 21 right now. That means your beliefs about speaking were the same from 6 to 21, for 15 years. But you got to change it if you want to beat your stutter, in my opinion. Our minds are learning the words to the bad experiences When you first hear a really good song play, you don't know the words. Each progressive time you hear the song play, you learn more words of the song until you can sing along in the privacy of your place. Like the song you learn the words to, each time a negative experience replays in our mind, we soak it in more. Using the song analogy, our minds are learning the words to the bad experiences. This is not a good experience for our minds to learn from. You've stuttered 10 to 15 years, so for 5,000 days you've had stuttering thoughts all day long. It'll take work to reprogram those beliefs. But they can be changed! We feel about this big. Like about 2 inches tall. The thing about life and speech is, it's going to sound weird, but like, when we're afraid, and when we're very timid, and when we're scared, really scared, we feel about this big, right? Like about 2 inches tall. The size of an ant. In my mind, the bigger we feel, the better our speech. There's ways how to make ourselves feel better and bigger. When we feel bigger, we have more confidence. We have better speech. One of the great secrets to stuttering, to attaining fluency, it's to understand this concept, that we can change our moods, we can jumpstart ourselves, we can feel bigger, and then go into your speech. The concept, though, that our emotional state has a direct impact on our fluency, is massive. What I'm saying is there's this massive correlation between emotional state and fluency that I've seen no one discuss, but in my life is crucial, crucial, crucial. This is gold you will see nowhere. The expectations I brought into a conversation Those expectations, my friends, what I now know on this side of fluency, having lived both lives, those expectations help perpetuate the stuttering. Those expectations can actually be changed. But again, it's not simple. It's not a quick fix. You can't just think your way in one day to it. But I am calling out that those expectations do cause more stuttering. It's not like a nothing thing. It's like massive. Because my expectations are that it's going to go well, that my speech is going to be great, because I have done the work for it, and I still do the work. It's now subconscious. Why I paid attention to my good speech days Have you ever experienced days where your speech is on fire, and then there's days it's just crap? Of course. It proves to me, my friend, without a reasonable doubt, that stuttering is in the mind. Because some days the speech is killer. It's not random. There's got to be something to it, in my humble opinion. Those fluency days that just happen, I'm gonna guess those are not on your hardest days or your most important ones. I'm gonna guess those are more carefree days. It's that, subconsciously, I think you did the steps to have good speech, so you were not aware, but you were thinking and believing and feeling positive that day. It's not thinking positive. It's really about feeling, and what you anticipate, and the confidence. If you had a million bucks, you would not stutter, right? If you truly believe that you get the million dollars, like I think that belief alone would probably help. But like you would feel confident, right? You're right, but you also don't have to wait till you get a million bucks, because that could take a while. So like, while you're doing that, like you could get fluent while you get rich too. Positive enthusiasm without a reason for being positive is not going to work. Imagining the race before running it The mind cannot distinguish between imagined and real. Now I didn't just make this up. No, it came from a famous doctor who was working with the Olympian athletes in the 92 Olympics. What happened was, most importantly, was that they would teach their star performers, these track athletes and these future stars, how to imagine in their mind that they've run their race, that they run it each day, that they've stood up for the gold medal, that they win. See, that sh*t is so tangible. It's incredible. No one in the stuttering world discusses this.