THE BACK FIND THE CHAPTER 1. Are you sick and tired of feeling like you are not being heard? Are you sick and tired of having people talk over you? → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 15. ARE YOU FROM AROUND HERE? · 16. SHUT UP AND LISTEN · 24. THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU pages: 2. p. 8 · 15. p. 55 · 16. p. 59 · 24. p. 88 2. Do you hate when people finish your sentences? → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 15. ARE YOU FROM AROUND HERE? · 16. SHUT UP AND LISTEN · 24. THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU pages: 2. p. 8 · 15. p. 55 · 16. p. 59 · 24. p. 88 3. Do you get tired of non-stutterers thinking getting rid of a stutter is easy to do? → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 3. ME AND YOU · 6. THE JUNGLE pages: 2. p. 8 · 3. p. 12 · 6. p. 22 4. Would you do nearly anything to avoid talking on the phone? → 12. THE INTENTIONAL DREAM · 13. COME IN TALLER · 24. THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU pages: 12. p. 44 · 13. p. 49 · 24. p. 88 5. Do you think one of the worst feelings in the world is when you stutter or block on your name, and people laugh at you? People asking you if you forgot your name? → 20. STEVE · 25. SAY YOUR NAME · 28. MY NAME IS CRAIG pages: 20. p. 73 · 25. p. 90 · 28. p. 97 6. Have people made fun of your stutter? Maybe while you were younger, in school, or as an adult. → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 18. HEAL QUICK · 22. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT · 27. RAW pages: 2. p. 8 · 18. p. 65 · 22. p. 82 · 27. p. 96 7. Have you ever judged your day by how good or bad your speech was that day? → 10. IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE DAY TO HATE YOURSELF · 17. NEVER PUSH THROUGH A BLOCK · 18. HEAL QUICK · 26. FLUENCY IS WON pages: 10. p. 37 · 17. p. 62 · 18. p. 65 · 26. p. 93 8. Do you feel really frustrated when you say something 100% perfectly, then someone asks you to repeat yourself? → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 16. SHUT UP AND LISTEN · 18. HEAL QUICK pages: 2. p. 8 · 16. p. 59 · 18. p. 65 9. Have you ever stuttered so much you decided to shut up? → 15. ARE YOU FROM AROUND HERE? · 16. SHUT UP AND LISTEN · 19. THE ONCE-A-DAY CHALLENGE pages: 15. p. 55 · 16. p. 59 · 19. p. 69 10. Have you ever been at a restaurant and ordered food that you could say, not what you actually wanted to eat? → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 19. THE ONCE-A-DAY CHALLENGE · 20. STEVE pages: 2. p. 8 · 19. p. 69 · 20. p. 73 11. Have you pretended like you did not know something, or pretended you forgot, to avoid stuttering? → 7. WHAT I NOTICED ABOUT MY SPEECH · 11. THERE AIN'T NO SCRIPT · 16. SHUT UP AND LISTEN pages: 7. p. 24 · 11. p. 42 · 16. p. 59 12. Can you relate to making a phone call and silently hoping they don't answer? → 12. THE INTENTIONAL DREAM · 13. COME IN TALLER · 24. THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU pages: 12. p. 44 · 13. p. 49 · 24. p. 88 13. Have you ever stuttered so much at a drive-through restaurant that you just drove off without your food? → 2. STUTTERING HELL · 19. THE ONCE-A-DAY CHALLENGE · 20. STEVE pages: 2. p. 8 · 19. p. 69 · 20. p. 73 THE WORDS I USE Stuttering Hell. Once you're in it, it's the absolute worst feeling in the world. 2 inches tall. The size of an ant. When we're afraid, and when we're very timid, and when we're scared, really scared, we feel about this big. 10 feet tall. You feel massive. You're king of the world. That feeling is manufactured. You made it. The stuttering mental thought cycle. When the stranger talks, the stutterer's mind starts thinking about what they're going to say next. What words they can say, what words they can't say. The real world. Whatever you want to do outside of your house. It's the non-safe space world. Pre-planning. I would pre-plan, which means pre-failing. When you pre-script your speech, you pre-plan it. You're pre-planning to stutter. The intentional dream. One of my favorite ways to reprogram our subconscious mind. It's where you're seeing yourself basically perform like at your best, mixing with this dream a sensation of true happiness. The once-a-day challenge. Talk to one new person per day. One new person per day. Momentum. It's made. You build it with music, you build it with practice, you build it with the stories we tell ourselves. Steve. I chose a name that was easier for me to say than my own. The 3 second rule. I won't hesitate more than 3 seconds from when I see a person. Heal quick. When you're doing battle, you gotta learn how to heal quick. The crutch. It's too early in the day to hate yourself. No matter what time of day. Fluency is won. Each day you win it again the next f*cking day. 'Cause it's a battle. SPONTANEOUS QUESTIONS, NO SCRIPTING You don't have to use the exact phrase, but that's something that I use. Are you from around here? How did you find your way here? How are the grapes? Oh wow, those are big, aren't they? Wow, I don't know how you all do it. You have to walk all over the whole store in one shift. Whose birthday are we celebrating? I just came over to tell you you're beautiful. Hey, what's up, man? How you doing? Can I get a pour over coffee? For here, please. My name is Craig. Thank you very much. TALK TO ONE STRANGER A DAY One stranger a day. If I missed a day, I would make it up and do 2 the next day. ☐ 1   ☐ 2   ☐ 3   ☐ 4   ☐ 5   ☐ 6   ☐ 7   ☐ 8   ☐ 9   ☐ 10 ☐ 11   ☐ 12   ☐ 13   ☐ 14   ☐ 15   ☐ 16   ☐ 17   ☐ 18   ☐ 19   ☐ 20 ☐ 21   ☐ 22   ☐ 23   ☐ 24   ☐ 25   ☐ 26   ☐ 27   ☐ 28   ☐ 29   ☐ 30 How I chose a cell phone number I could say What I've done successfully, and it's been more than a few years, was when I went to change my cell phone number because I moved. I went into a store in person, and I asked the head person in that store if I could choose or have a choice in my cell phone numbers because I stuttered. They said, we normally do not allow this, but I do understand. They allowed me to go behind the counter. I looked at a page of about 12 or 15 different choices, and I found the one of those that it was the best for me to say. So that's my tip. That if you're struggling, you can choose your own cell phone number. If that method does not work, you could always get a second cell phone number through an online VoIP service. But there are choices. THE PHILOSOPHIES I try to avoid forcing a hard block when another way of communicating works. Exact information takes priority, and one block does not decide the rest of the day. Do not preamble. Never worked. What it did for me is, it reduced how I felt. I didn't feel big and powerful and strong. I felt tiny and meek. I've learned to never pre-script what I'm going to say. I'll have an idea of what I want to get across, but I never think about the words, the actual words to say. I used to call myself a stutterer. But I was so much more. I want advice that can be explained, shown, and supported. A person's own stutter does not settle whether they can help someone else. I work on fluency while protecting my voice, the accuracy of my message, and my respect for myself. That spontaneous speech, that's where the gold is. I always hype my mood before talking to strangers or groups. I would talk to one stranger a day. Even with my stutter. Because I stuttered. It's too early in the day to hate yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make because you want to be smooth. You want to talk well. You're trying hard. That voice is real. I want to give it credibility. Fluency is won. Each day you win it again the next f*cking day. 'Cause it's a battle. It's one conversation at a time. Confidence is learned. I taught myself how to be confident. By recording these, I'm teaching you what I've done. I want to hear from you Let me guide you because I've done it. I've been where you are and I'm on this side of it. usedtostutter.com I record content once a day. Watch my live content. Watch my long form content. You get to say what you want, when you want, to whom you want. Daily positivity is required. Why? Because stuttering is f*cking brutal, just like you know. You can get that from all sources. If you want to get it from me, that's great too. I'm here for you. usedtostutter.com. It's speech. It's your life. It's your dreams. It's not perfect, but it's everything. Instead of talking just to people on a server one-on-one, I want to talk to a lot of people. I want to put it out there, because this is the kind of material that I would have wanted. A place where people who stutter are understood, and are normal. Where you will always be supported. Where people who stutter are celebrated! You're a hero for facing the challenges you live through and experience every day. In short, I created the home I always wanted for myself. You are a whole person with things to say. One practice I have shared is talking to one stranger a day. I believe in you. It's a journey, and I look forward to walking with you on yours. I'm so excited. I'm your boy Craig Coffee. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.