Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/finding-a-stuttering-practice-partner# Who would I practice with, and what would we work on? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) I would start with people who were gentle and patient while I worked on my speech. I used grandparents as an example of the kind of person I meant. I compared practice with ski slopes: begin with something less hard. I knew what it felt like to go out and see one big world I didn't know how to enter. The first time at the market was frightening. I had to work up to what you later saw me doing there. ## What I wanted to do with Don In the conversation about an outing together, I wanted Don to see how I approached someone in a real place. I could explain what I was thinking before it, go and speak, then come back and talk about what I had done. Why did I say that? What did I notice? How did the other person respond? I wanted him to see the actual exchange and hear the explanation close to it. Then he could try, and we could discuss his attempt. I said the time before approaching people and the time afterward could be especially valuable. ## Hearing an idea is different from trying it I said it doesn't take long to learn the things I share, but practicing them in situations takes time. If something didn't go well, being there together could give me a chance to say what I saw and suggest something specific to try. That is the teaching opportunity I was describing. There would be a real encounter to talk about, not just a general instruction to feel confident. ## We could choose the surroundings We talked about going during the day, having breakfast and walking around places where there would be people to talk to. I wanted a variety of circumstances and opportunities to watch what happened. I also said we could read the room and leave. It wasn't a work obligation. I wanted good environments to practice in, and we could move if a place wasn't working for that purpose. The point wasn't that a place had to be perfect. It was that we had some choice about this outing and could use it. ## What I meant by redirecting I described a way of taking over and redirecting a conversation when I felt intimidated. I said it had been born from being scared. I also distinguished it from controlling what another person would do. I told Don that what he saw would depend on what we encountered. That was part of the outing I was proposing: talk about the situation before we approached, then discuss what happened afterward. This is what I proposed doing with Don: notice the situation, try an exchange, and talk about it together. To show the redirecting itself, I would need to walk you through an actual cue, my words, the other person's reply, and what happened next. The proposal does not establish that the outing or that demonstration took place. ## The camera had a separate place In another conversation, Don wanted to practice with strangers and build confidence back up. I suggested waiting to record until he had some of that confidence back. I was concerned about the thought of being recorded getting in the way while he spoke. That is [a different question from watching my demonstration](/recording-yourself-when-you-stutter). I wanted him to have useful practice, not simply copy every feature of how I make videos. ## What the proposal tells you about my approach to practicing together I wanted observation, an attempt and an explanation around it. I wanted the actual person and setting in front of us, with a chance to choose another place when that made sense. This is the outing we discussed and what I hoped we would work on. It is not a report that the visit happened. It shows the process I wanted to share: see it, try it and talk about the particular thing that just happened. ## Related answers - [Who did I look for when I was starting to practice speaking?](/choosing-someone-to-practice-speaking-with) - [What should you look for in my speaking videos?](/stuttering-demonstrations) - [Should I record myself when I practice speaking?](/recording-yourself-when-you-stutter) [Find your question](/questions)

I would start with people who were gentle and patient while I worked on my speech. I used grandparents as an example of the kind of person I meant. I compared practice with ski slopes: begin with something less hard. I knew what it felt like to go out and see one big world I didn't know how to enter. The first time at the market was frightening. I had to work up to what you later saw me doing there.

## What I wanted to do with Don In the conversation about an outing together, I wanted Don to see how I approached someone in a real place. I could explain what I was thinking before it, go and speak, then come back and talk about what I had done. Why did I say that? What did I notice? How did the other person respond? I wanted him to see the actual exchange and hear the explanation close to it. Then he could try, and we could discuss his attempt. I said the time before approaching people and the time afterward could be especially valuable.

## Hearing an idea is different from trying it I said it doesn't take long to learn the things I share, but practicing them in situations takes time. If something didn't go well, being there together could give me a chance to say what I saw and suggest something specific to try. That is the teaching opportunity I was describing. There would be a real encounter to talk about, not just a general instruction to feel confident.

## We could choose the surroundings We talked about going during the day, having breakfast and walking around places where there would be people to talk to. I wanted a variety of circumstances and opportunities to watch what happened. I also said we could read the room and leave. It wasn't a work obligation. I wanted good environments to practice in, and we could move if a place wasn't working for that purpose. The point wasn't that a place had to be perfect. It was that we had some choice about this outing and could use it.

## What I meant by redirecting I described a way of taking over and redirecting a conversation when I felt intimidated. I said it had been born from being scared. I also distinguished it from controlling what another person would do. I told Don that what he saw would depend on what we encountered. That was part of the outing I was proposing: talk about the situation before we approached, then discuss what happened afterward. This is what I proposed doing with Don: notice the situation, try an exchange, and talk about it together. To show the redirecting itself, I would need to walk you through an actual cue, my words, the other person's reply, and what happened next. The proposal does not establish that the outing or that demonstration took place.

## The camera had a separate place In another conversation, Don wanted to practice with strangers and build confidence back up. I suggested waiting to record until he had some of that confidence back. I was concerned about the thought of being recorded getting in the way while he spoke. That is [a different question from watching my demonstration](/recording-yourself-when-you-stutter). I wanted him to have useful practice, not simply copy every feature of how I make videos.

## What the proposal tells you about my approach to practicing together I wanted observation, an attempt and an explanation around it. I wanted the actual person and setting in front of us, with a chance to choose another place when that made sense. This is the outing we discussed and what I hoped we would work on. It is not a report that the visit happened. It shows the process I wanted to share: see it, try it and talk about the particular thing that just happened.