# What would I look for in someone teaching me to speak?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

I would want someone who could explain what they did. I met three people who told me they used to stutter and sounded good when I spoke with them. My first question was what had changed. How had they got there?

They couldn't explain it clearly enough to help me. It felt like they had made it through a jungle but couldn't point me in a direction. I wanted something I could understand and try.

That experience is behind the way I think about someone teaching me to speak.

## Show me the work behind the result

I spent years reading and trying things on dates, at work, on calls and in front of colleagues. That is why I wanted more than somebody saying they had beaten a stutter.

What did they do before the conversation? What did they think about? What happened when the other person said something unexpected? What did they change when an attempt went badly?

Those are the parts I try to show when I explain my own experience.

## What I wanted Don to see

When I discussed an outing with Don, I wanted him to watch me approach people and hear me explain it afterward. Why did I say that? What did I notice? What happened in the exchange?

He could try too, and we could talk about the attempt. I said the time before approaching and the time afterward could be particularly valuable. It doesn't take long to hear an idea; practicing it in a situation takes more work.

That is [the kind of practical explanation](/finding-a-stuttering-practice-partner) I wanted somebody to give me. The proposed outing described how I wanted to teach it, not a completed set of results.

## I did look at other people teaching this

In a group conversation, I described looking into nonprofessional people who taught stuttering help because I was thinking about sharing material myself. I expressed a preference for that kind of lived experience and said some of the people appeared to be helping others.

I also said I wasn't sure how well some of them spoke or what their methods were. That uncertainty is part of the account. Looking at a list did not mean I had completed a detailed evaluation of each person.

What I was describing was my interest in people who could explain their experience and show what they did. I also acknowledged what I did not know about their speech and their methods.

## I want to know whether the explanation makes sense

When I shared my writing with Don, I especially wanted him to point out what needed clarification: where he didn't get what I meant. That is useful feedback.

In the enthusiasm exercise, I could point to an actual phrase he had said and explain what I heard in the delivery. He could try again and tell me what felt different. There was something specific for both of us to discuss.

That is the main criterion I can explain from my own search: I wanted someone who could take me past hearing good speech and into understanding the work that led to it. This article describes that preference. It does not establish a complete evaluation of every coach or professional a reader might consider.

## Related answers

- [What should you look for in my speaking videos?](/stuttering-demonstrations)
- [Why did I keep looking after my own speech therapy?](/still-stuttering-after-speech-therapy)
- [What is the approach I am sharing?](/craig-coffee-approach)

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