{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-089",
  "title": "Did I still feel nervous when I spoke?",
  "topic": "Anticipation, preparation and the listener",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous",
  "access": "public",
  "content_kind": "author_published_article",
  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "1e29b71cbbfad39ef87432728c4a0c26a674a271f7b52be7ca8687f262c8d23c",
  "source_markdown": "# Did I still feel nervous when I spoke?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nYes. I was still scared when I put up my hand in the yoga class and said, “I will go first.”\n\nI was there with a friend I liked. There were about thirty people, and we were going around introducing ourselves and telling an embarrassing story. My heart dropped when I heard what we were going to do.\n\nI thought about finding a way out. But in that moment, I chose to volunteer. I told the story, and I said afterward that I was still scared. I preferred going first to sitting there counting how many people were left before my turn.\n\n## I also felt it in the birthday-table story\n\nIn the raw account of approaching the table of sixteen women, I say my heart was racing. I had learned to keep speaking with some nervousness there.\n\nI also described how practice hadn't felt easier immediately. I recalled a period of roughly six months or a year when it still felt hard. That is my approximate recollection, not a timetable I can give someone else.\n\nMy phrase was to feel the fear and do it. I had spent a lot of time avoiding the situations that made me nervous, and learning to approach was difficult.\n\n## The work presentations included nerves too\n\nThere were seven town-hall panels over two days, with four days to prepare. I worked hard. I said I did well, and I said I was very nervous.\n\nIn the short gaps, I often went to the bathroom and played my pump-up music. I was using something I knew while there were still more sessions ahead of me. [The town-hall account](/stuttering-at-work-presentations) keeps that detail in the story.\n\n## What was I doing before I spoke?\n\nI worked on how I arrived. Music could change how I felt on the way there. Recalling a small better speaking experience gave me something besides the humiliating memories to think about.\n\nSmaller conversations helped me get going. At the market, I had already spoken with people before entering the busy part. I wanted to give myself a better starting point.\n\nI was specific about the role of music: it didn't fix my stutter alone or give me perfect speech. It was part of what I did to feel a little less intimidated.\n\n## That was different from where I began\n\nEarly on, I only noticed that approaching a stranger felt slightly better than being approached. Slightly. I was still stuttering. I took that small difference and practiced with it.\n\nThere were failed attempts. I blocked or wasn't quick enough. I kept trying to learn how to be in a real conversation while I felt the nerves.\n\nThose details belong beside the speech you hear from me now. I did not begin with the confidence you sometimes see in a recording. I learned through particular situations, including ones where the fear was still present.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [How did music help me before I went out to speak?](/music-before-speaking)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous",
  "sections": [
    {
      "id": "reading-content",
      "heading": null,
      "heading_level": null,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous#reading-content",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "Yes. I was still scared when I put up my hand in the yoga class and said, “I will go first.”\n\nI was there with a friend I liked. There were about thirty people, and we were going around introducing ourselves and telling an embarrassing story. My heart dropped when I heard what we were going to do.\n\nI thought about finding a way out. But in that moment, I chose to volunteer. I told the story, and I said afterward that I was still scared. I preferred going first to sitting there counting how many people were left before my turn.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "9c0b0d68becb18392b9d3428b4c1ff77ead9dd9178ed1f8701949d15ae4bddc8"
    },
    {
      "id": "i-also-felt-it-in-the-birthday-table-story",
      "heading": "I also felt it in the birthday-table story",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous#i-also-felt-it-in-the-birthday-table-story",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## I also felt it in the birthday-table story\n\nIn the raw account of approaching the table of sixteen women, I say my heart was racing. I had learned to keep speaking with some nervousness there.\n\nI also described how practice hadn't felt easier immediately. I recalled a period of roughly six months or a year when it still felt hard. That is my approximate recollection, not a timetable I can give someone else.\n\nMy phrase was to feel the fear and do it. I had spent a lot of time avoiding the situations that made me nervous, and learning to approach was difficult.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "6f6e070dfe1a7e0bedd935ce91129a87477fbb31965bc4eaece30f40a63b9085"
    },
    {
      "id": "the-work-presentations-included-nerves-too",
      "heading": "The work presentations included nerves too",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous#the-work-presentations-included-nerves-too",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The work presentations included nerves too\n\nThere were seven town-hall panels over two days, with four days to prepare. I worked hard. I said I did well, and I said I was very nervous.\n\nIn the short gaps, I often went to the bathroom and played my pump-up music. I was using something I knew while there were still more sessions ahead of me. [The town-hall account](/stuttering-at-work-presentations) keeps that detail in the story.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "a87a8e543cc68485fae63a7410d62773fcdc80cbf454ef806b4b2319cc96892c"
    },
    {
      "id": "what-was-i-doing-before-i-spoke",
      "heading": "What was I doing before I spoke?",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous#what-was-i-doing-before-i-spoke",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What was I doing before I spoke?\n\nI worked on how I arrived. Music could change how I felt on the way there. Recalling a small better speaking experience gave me something besides the humiliating memories to think about.\n\nSmaller conversations helped me get going. At the market, I had already spoken with people before entering the busy part. I wanted to give myself a better starting point.\n\nI was specific about the role of music: it didn't fix my stutter alone or give me perfect speech. It was part of what I did to feel a little less intimidated.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "1e8e514c5020f88ec026d49a58b70c90b24d7e5d26841dc13a5636b312d8a1ec"
    },
    {
      "id": "that-was-different-from-where-i-began",
      "heading": "That was different from where I began",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous#that-was-different-from-where-i-began",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## That was different from where I began\n\nEarly on, I only noticed that approaching a stranger felt slightly better than being approached. Slightly. I was still stuttering. I took that small difference and practiced with it.\n\nThere were failed attempts. I blocked or wasn't quick enough. I kept trying to learn how to be in a real conversation while I felt the nerves.\n\nThose details belong beside the speech you hear from me now. I did not begin with the confidence you sometimes see in a recording. I learned through particular situations, including ones where the fear was still present.\n\n",
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    },
    {
      "id": "related-answers",
      "heading": "Related answers",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-when-nervous#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [How did music help me before I went out to speak?](/music-before-speaking)\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "7d6f92558bbd82ca0ab9202377e06ea0c2d40fd937a7f09c148622422c34b493"
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}