Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-exercises-for-adults# What speaking practice did I actually do? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) I practiced talking with people while I was still stuttering. Approaching someone, asking a question, hearing the reply and saying something back. I also worked on how I felt beforehand and what I said to myself afterward. Those parts belong together in my story. The idea could be simple to hear. Actually doing it while I felt nervous took a lot of practice. ## One grocery visit shows the work together At the start of the grocery-store video, I explained what I did before going out. I read something I liked out loud, trying to find a little confidence in my voice. I remembered a time my speech had been a little better. I played music that helped change how I felt. Then I walked into the store. A man was looking at cookies. I commented that if they were on sale, I was in trouble. I talked about how I used to eat junk food and asked, “how about you?” He told me he was diabetic and couldn't touch it. I said, “But you still look at it. Smart.” Then I explained what had happened in the exchange. The preparation didn't write his answer for me. It was how I tried to put myself in a better position before approaching. Once we were talking, I had to hear what he said and respond to that. The exchange was short. I had found something we could both see, said something about it and had a conversation. That is the kind of practice I wanted the recording to show. ## How I began doing it daily I started by noticing that approaching someone felt slightly less intimidating than being approached. I was about 14. At a store with my parents, I could ask an employee something. At school, I could talk to somebody I didn't know. I challenged myself to talk with one new person a day. If I missed a day, I said I would make it up by doing two the next day. [The Once-a-Day Challenge](/daily-stuttering-practice) explains that commitment and the opportunities I used. ## I had to learn the other person's turn too For a long time, I barely heard the other person because I was planning my own response. What word would come next? Could I say it? What could I avoid? I wanted to learn to be present for what they were saying. Their response could give me the next thing to ask about. That was hard to do while I was used to trying to control the whole conversation in advance. There were many times I blocked or wasn't quick enough. I kept practicing [listening and responding](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech), not just finding a first line. ## I used smaller interactions before a harder place At the busy market, I explained that I had already talked to people on the walk from where I parked. Then, inside, I could notice a missed trash can, make a football comment or say a quiet hello. I was learning how to find individual conversations inside a crowd. Returning to a stall where I had met somebody gave another exchange some history. I could ask about the person and what was happening that day. ## A work call had its own opening With Don, the setting turned out to be virtual meetings. I suggested joining early enough to speak before the main work began, asking a casual question and using personal details from previous conversations. That was the same kind of interest in another person, applied to an actual work situation. We talked about the moment the client arrived, what Don could ask and why I wanted him using his voice early. ## Afterward, I worked on what stayed in my head I was good at replaying my worst speaking moments. In the self-talk explanation, I asked people to find a time their speech had been a little better and remember what they said to themselves afterward. Maybe the first thought was, why can't I do that all the time? But was there also a quiet recognition that something had gone well? I wanted that small experience available too. My early neutral phrase was, “It's too early in the day to hate yourself.” It was a way to interrupt the attack on myself while I kept working on my speech. ## The practice changed as I learned I took ideas into different settings and refined them. Some preparation that had taken longer became shorter. Some of the talking became habitual. I later described talking with clerks, the person bagging groceries and people I met while traveling. I still wanted the next conversation to go well. But I wasn't doing every part of my early preparation with the same effort before every ordinary exchange forever. That is the fuller picture: preparation, an actual attempt, listening, responding and the thoughts I carried afterward. The particular grocery visit shows some of those pieces together. The other accounts show how I kept working with them in different parts of my life. ## Related answers - [Did breathing exercises get me to where I am?](/breathing-and-stuttering) [Find your question](/questions)

I practiced talking with people while I was still stuttering. Approaching someone, asking a question, hearing the reply and saying something back. I also worked on how I felt beforehand and what I said to myself afterward. Those parts belong together in my story. The idea could be simple to hear. Actually doing it while I felt nervous took a lot of practice.

## One grocery visit shows the work together At the start of the grocery-store video, I explained what I did before going out. I read something I liked out loud, trying to find a little confidence in my voice. I remembered a time my speech had been a little better. I played music that helped change how I felt. Then I walked into the store. A man was looking at cookies. I commented that if they were on sale, I was in trouble. I talked about how I used to eat junk food and asked, “how about you?” He told me he was diabetic and couldn't touch it. I said, “But you still look at it. Smart.” Then I explained what had happened in the exchange. The preparation didn't write his answer for me. It was how I tried to put myself in a better position before approaching. Once we were talking, I had to hear what he said and respond to that. The exchange was short. I had found something we could both see, said something about it and had a conversation. That is the kind of practice I wanted the recording to show.

## How I began doing it daily I started by noticing that approaching someone felt slightly less intimidating than being approached. I was about 14. At a store with my parents, I could ask an employee something. At school, I could talk to somebody I didn't know. I challenged myself to talk with one new person a day. If I missed a day, I said I would make it up by doing two the next day. [The Once-a-Day Challenge](/daily-stuttering-practice) explains that commitment and the opportunities I used.

## I had to learn the other person's turn too For a long time, I barely heard the other person because I was planning my own response. What word would come next? Could I say it? What could I avoid? I wanted to learn to be present for what they were saying. Their response could give me the next thing to ask about. That was hard to do while I was used to trying to control the whole conversation in advance. There were many times I blocked or wasn't quick enough. I kept practicing [listening and responding](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech), not just finding a first line.

## I used smaller interactions before a harder place At the busy market, I explained that I had already talked to people on the walk from where I parked. Then, inside, I could notice a missed trash can, make a football comment or say a quiet hello. I was learning how to find individual conversations inside a crowd. Returning to a stall where I had met somebody gave another exchange some history. I could ask about the person and what was happening that day.

## A work call had its own opening With Don, the setting turned out to be virtual meetings. I suggested joining early enough to speak before the main work began, asking a casual question and using personal details from previous conversations. That was the same kind of interest in another person, applied to an actual work situation. We talked about the moment the client arrived, what Don could ask and why I wanted him using his voice early.

## Afterward, I worked on what stayed in my head I was good at replaying my worst speaking moments. In the self-talk explanation, I asked people to find a time their speech had been a little better and remember what they said to themselves afterward. Maybe the first thought was, why can't I do that all the time? But was there also a quiet recognition that something had gone well? I wanted that small experience available too. My early neutral phrase was, “It's too early in the day to hate yourself.” It was a way to interrupt the attack on myself while I kept working on my speech.

## The practice changed as I learned I took ideas into different settings and refined them. Some preparation that had taken longer became shorter. Some of the talking became habitual. I later described talking with clerks, the person bagging groceries and people I met while traveling. I still wanted the next conversation to go well. But I wasn't doing every part of my early preparation with the same effort before every ordinary exchange forever. That is the fuller picture: preparation, an actual attempt, listening, responding and the thoughts I carried afterward. The particular grocery visit shows some of those pieces together. The other accounts show how I kept working with them in different parts of my life.