Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/choosing-someone-to-practice-speaking-with# Who did I look for when I was starting to practice speaking? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) When I talked about where to begin practicing, I said to look for gentle people. People who would be patient while you worked on your speech. I used grandparents as an example of the kind of person I had in mind. I compared it with ski slopes. You choose something that is less hard at first. I wasn't asking somebody to begin with the most intimidating conversation they could find. ## The opportunities I used early on When I was younger and out at a store with my parents, I could ask an employee a question. At school, I could talk to a teacher or another employee I didn't know. Once I could drive, I had more places I could go. Those ordinary settings gave me a reason to speak. Ask where something was. Hear the answer. Say something back. Approaching and talking were both parts of [the practice](/daily-stuttering-practice). ## Why a stranger could feel easier to me Somebody who knew me could bring up all my memories of stuttering in front of them. I could feel as if they expected it. A new person hadn't heard my speech before, and that felt like a fresh start. That was my experience. It is one reason I chose strangers for much of my practice. ## Another caller described the opposite starting point A caller told me he was comfortable with his co-workers and familiar places. Outside that bubble, with somebody new or a new topic, his stuttering came in strongly and he backed away. He said his difficulty was with complete strangers. He wanted to begin going out after work and talking with people. That was the challenge he identified for himself. His description matters alongside mine. Knowing somebody could be comfortable for him. My familiar-person experience could include anticipating their judgment. I wanted to hear what the actual situation felt like to the person speaking with me. ## A bad interaction could be one to leave My embroidery-store story is the clearest example. The man had heard me struggle with my name, then called over his buddy and asked me to say it again. I felt something was wrong and stayed anyway. I wished I had left. That experience helped shape what I said about [choosing an interaction](/hostile-listeners-and-stuttering). Going out to practice didn't mean I had to remain with that person. ## A practice outing could be changed When I discussed going out with Don, I wanted us to find good environments and move between places. I said we could read the room and leave because it wasn't a work obligation. I wanted him to see the situations, watch how I approached and tell me how he felt. The place and the person were part of the work, not just a backdrop. So when I say to begin with somebody gentle, I mean an actual person and an actual opportunity to speak. I wanted a place where I could start, still stutter, learn from the exchange and have another chance to practice. ## The conversation can be about the ordinary thing in front of you When Don and I were discussing his relationship, I told him he could keep approaching strangers to practice without flirting. Ask real questions. In a shop, the question could be, “How much is this?” The person works there and can answer it. I told him, “but you still gotta speak to her.” That was the chance to work on confidence and fluency I was talking about: an ordinary question in an ordinary setting. ## Related answers - [Who would I practice with, and what would we work on?](/finding-a-stuttering-practice-partner) [Find your question](/questions)

When I talked about where to begin practicing, I said to look for gentle people. People who would be patient while you worked on your speech. I used grandparents as an example of the kind of person I had in mind. I compared it with ski slopes. You choose something that is less hard at first. I wasn't asking somebody to begin with the most intimidating conversation they could find.

## The opportunities I used early on When I was younger and out at a store with my parents, I could ask an employee a question. At school, I could talk to a teacher or another employee I didn't know. Once I could drive, I had more places I could go. Those ordinary settings gave me a reason to speak. Ask where something was. Hear the answer. Say something back. Approaching and talking were both parts of [the practice](/daily-stuttering-practice).

## Why a stranger could feel easier to me Somebody who knew me could bring up all my memories of stuttering in front of them. I could feel as if they expected it. A new person hadn't heard my speech before, and that felt like a fresh start. That was my experience. It is one reason I chose strangers for much of my practice.

## Another caller described the opposite starting point A caller told me he was comfortable with his co-workers and familiar places. Outside that bubble, with somebody new or a new topic, his stuttering came in strongly and he backed away. He said his difficulty was with complete strangers. He wanted to begin going out after work and talking with people. That was the challenge he identified for himself. His description matters alongside mine. Knowing somebody could be comfortable for him. My familiar-person experience could include anticipating their judgment. I wanted to hear what the actual situation felt like to the person speaking with me.

## A bad interaction could be one to leave My embroidery-store story is the clearest example. The man had heard me struggle with my name, then called over his buddy and asked me to say it again. I felt something was wrong and stayed anyway. I wished I had left. That experience helped shape what I said about [choosing an interaction](/hostile-listeners-and-stuttering). Going out to practice didn't mean I had to remain with that person.

## A practice outing could be changed When I discussed going out with Don, I wanted us to find good environments and move between places. I said we could read the room and leave because it wasn't a work obligation. I wanted him to see the situations, watch how I approached and tell me how he felt. The place and the person were part of the work, not just a backdrop. So when I say to begin with somebody gentle, I mean an actual person and an actual opportunity to speak. I wanted a place where I could start, still stutter, learn from the exchange and have another chance to practice.

## The conversation can be about the ordinary thing in front of you When Don and I were discussing his relationship, I told him he could keep approaching strangers to practice without flirting. Ask real questions. In a shop, the question could be, “How much is this?” The person works there and can answer it. I told him, “but you still gotta speak to her.” That was the chance to work on confidence and fluency I was talking about: an ordinary question in an ordinary setting.