{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-066",
  "title": "What hurt when people mistook my stutter for who I was?",
  "topic": "Self-talk, identity and everyday impact",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter",
  "access": "public",
  "content_kind": "author_published_article",
  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "79ff74d268a9a882f9a41beca88efc0582a02c026d56f245b49c013370315b2a",
  "source_markdown": "# What hurt when people mistook my stutter for who I was?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nMy sister once heard me on the phone and thought I was being rude. I was relieved I hadn't blocked. That difference stayed with me.\n\n## The call I was trying to make\n\nI was in high school. I had met a girl through a friend, and she’d given me her phone number on a piece of paper. One afternoon I called it.\n\nA deep voice answered. I thought it must be her dad, and I was scared. I wanted to make a polite request to speak with her. What came out was her name, with repetitions, and please.\n\nShe wasn’t available, and I declined to leave a message. I wanted to, but I didn’t feel I could get through it without embarrassing myself. Sometimes you just get plain tired of feeling embarrassed.\n\nMy sister overheard that and thought I was rude. What she heard and what I was going through were very different. I had wanted to say the whole request, and I was just glad I hadn't blocked.\n\n## Why that example matters to me\n\nIt was an ordinary phone call to somebody I wanted to talk to. In my head, it had become a frightening speaking moment before I could get the request out.\n\nWhen I talk about how much could be going on around a few words, that is one of the experiences I mean. I knew what I wanted to say. The words the other person heard didn't carry the whole story.\n\n## What an old friend told me years later\n\nI had a friend from a summer camp who lived out of town. We stayed in touch, and I asked her to my junior-year prom. We were always just friends.\n\nYears later, I got back in touch with her in New York. By then, my fluency had improved so much that I felt like a different person. We hung out, and the subject of my stutter came up.\n\nShe told me she and her friends hadn’t known I stuttered. They had thought I was a little mentally slow.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [How do I prepare myself before a difficult phone call?](/stuttering-phone-calls)\n- [What did I wish my family understood about my stuttering?](/talking-to-family-about-stuttering)\n- [Why was saying my name so hard for me?](/stutter-saying-your-name)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter",
  "sections": [
    {
      "id": "reading-content",
      "heading": null,
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      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter#reading-content",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "My sister once heard me on the phone and thought I was being rude. I was relieved I hadn't blocked. That difference stayed with me.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "the-call-i-was-trying-to-make",
      "heading": "The call I was trying to make",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter#the-call-i-was-trying-to-make",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The call I was trying to make\n\nI was in high school. I had met a girl through a friend, and she’d given me her phone number on a piece of paper. One afternoon I called it.\n\nA deep voice answered. I thought it must be her dad, and I was scared. I wanted to make a polite request to speak with her. What came out was her name, with repetitions, and please.\n\nShe wasn’t available, and I declined to leave a message. I wanted to, but I didn’t feel I could get through it without embarrassing myself. Sometimes you just get plain tired of feeling embarrassed.\n\nMy sister overheard that and thought I was rude. What she heard and what I was going through were very different. I had wanted to say the whole request, and I was just glad I hadn't blocked.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "77f22d29d9e57d369e442dd0ff17626fad666c9d0d76139cd32e444839448e67"
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    {
      "id": "why-that-example-matters-to-me",
      "heading": "Why that example matters to me",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter#why-that-example-matters-to-me",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## Why that example matters to me\n\nIt was an ordinary phone call to somebody I wanted to talk to. In my head, it had become a frightening speaking moment before I could get the request out.\n\nWhen I talk about how much could be going on around a few words, that is one of the experiences I mean. I knew what I wanted to say. The words the other person heard didn't carry the whole story.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "6a88a6729e2f3e417756005af452f22aa8f2e01136c64d5df4071fe41f346edb"
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    {
      "id": "what-an-old-friend-told-me-years-later",
      "heading": "What an old friend told me years later",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter#what-an-old-friend-told-me-years-later",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What an old friend told me years later\n\nI had a friend from a summer camp who lived out of town. We stayed in touch, and I asked her to my junior-year prom. We were always just friends.\n\nYears later, I got back in touch with her in New York. By then, my fluency had improved so much that I felt like a different person. We hung out, and the subject of my stutter came up.\n\nShe told me she and her friends hadn’t known I stuttered. They had thought I was a little mentally slow.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "related-answers",
      "heading": "Related answers",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/being-judged-for-your-stutter#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [How do I prepare myself before a difficult phone call?](/stuttering-phone-calls)\n- [What did I wish my family understood about my stuttering?](/talking-to-family-about-stuttering)\n- [Why was saying my name so hard for me?](/stutter-saying-your-name)\n",
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  "related_book_sections": [
    {
      "id": "the-people-closest-to-you",
      "title": "THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU",
      "url": "https://usedtostutter.com/reader/book/editions/corrected-2026-10-04-9e1d376a993f/chapters/the-people-closest-to-you",
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        "txt": "https://usedtostutter.com/reader/book/editions/corrected-2026-10-04-9e1d376a993f/chapters/the-people-closest-to-you.txt"
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}