{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-054",
  "title": "Do I have to talk quickly and be funny to be good at conversation?",
  "topic": "Anticipation, preparation and the listener",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter",
  "access": "public",
  "content_kind": "author_published_article",
  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "89861013b083f3dc928b353c1c36a9f921d83e0ab2cd5af2ea61d28572317f2b",
  "source_markdown": "# Do I have to talk quickly and be funny to be good at conversation?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nI used to feel that I did. I'd hear people talking quickly, making jokes, keeping things moving, and I found it impressive. Then I'd try to copy that while I was struggling to speak.\n\nThat put even more pressure on me. I was already thinking about getting the words out. Now I thought I also had to be fast, say a lot and be clever while doing it.\n\nI had to take a step back and watch other kinds of speakers. I noticed people I regarded as confident or powerful who spoke more slowly and said less. They weren't all performing at a hundred miles an hour.\n\nThat changed the picture I was carrying of what a good conversation had to look like.\n\n## I could say less and still be in the conversation\n\nI could say a sentence or a phrase. I could ask something and hear the response. I didn't have to [fill every quiet moment](/silence-in-a-conversation) or immediately launch into a story.\n\nThat was a relief. I had made conversation into an enormous job before I even began it. Seeing that someone could be comfortable saying less helped me change that expectation.\n\nThe people I had admired for being quick were only one example of how a conversation could sound. There were other ways to speak that I wanted to learn from too.\n\n## What I started paying attention to\n\nI watched tone and pace. I listened to how someone sounded when they were comfortable. I became more interested in the actual exchange than in [trying to match somebody else's speed](/comparing-your-speech-with-other-people).\n\nThis is part of what I mean by learning the art of conversation. I had spent years thinking about how to get a word out. I also had to learn what I could do once I was talking with another person.\n\nA question. An answer. A little curiosity. Some room for them to speak.\n\nI didn't have to be the quickest or funniest person there for that to be a conversation worth having.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [What do I say after the other person answers?](/following-up-in-a-conversation)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter",
  "sections": [
    {
      "id": "reading-content",
      "heading": null,
      "heading_level": null,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter#reading-content",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "I used to feel that I did. I'd hear people talking quickly, making jokes, keeping things moving, and I found it impressive. Then I'd try to copy that while I was struggling to speak.\n\nThat put even more pressure on me. I was already thinking about getting the words out. Now I thought I also had to be fast, say a lot and be clever while doing it.\n\nI had to take a step back and watch other kinds of speakers. I noticed people I regarded as confident or powerful who spoke more slowly and said less. They weren't all performing at a hundred miles an hour.\n\nThat changed the picture I was carrying of what a good conversation had to look like.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "b742949153581571bbd8c84c279f486b54c9868acbc3b3191a6e6740e6a6246b"
    },
    {
      "id": "i-could-say-less-and-still-be-in-the-conversation",
      "heading": "I could say less and still be in the conversation",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter#i-could-say-less-and-still-be-in-the-conversation",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## I could say less and still be in the conversation\n\nI could say a sentence or a phrase. I could ask something and hear the response. I didn't have to [fill every quiet moment](/silence-in-a-conversation) or immediately launch into a story.\n\nThat was a relief. I had made conversation into an enormous job before I even began it. Seeing that someone could be comfortable saying less helped me change that expectation.\n\nThe people I had admired for being quick were only one example of how a conversation could sound. There were other ways to speak that I wanted to learn from too.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "6e728e58e00d0f59a074b78f962218eea102a62c017e0f628d61d8a8e34097d5"
    },
    {
      "id": "what-i-started-paying-attention-to",
      "heading": "What I started paying attention to",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter#what-i-started-paying-attention-to",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What I started paying attention to\n\nI watched tone and pace. I listened to how someone sounded when they were comfortable. I became more interested in the actual exchange than in [trying to match somebody else's speed](/comparing-your-speech-with-other-people).\n\nThis is part of what I mean by learning the art of conversation. I had spent years thinking about how to get a word out. I also had to learn what I could do once I was talking with another person.\n\nA question. An answer. A little curiosity. Some room for them to speak.\n\nI didn't have to be the quickest or funniest person there for that to be a conversation worth having.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "398853c8f14616df19d3044fb0c1285ba6c114fbafe3576d58804221fc0fe9e4"
    },
    {
      "id": "related-answers",
      "heading": "Related answers",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [What do I say after the other person answers?](/following-up-in-a-conversation)\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "b711b02f17d58c3ac96e3aa85a5803a4bc55d1cc9842378689d8ce2b59cac4d6"
    }
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  "related_book_sections": []
}