Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-demonstrations# What should you look for in my speaking videos? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) Look at what happens before the conversation, what I actually say, and what happens next. I want you to understand why I chose an opening and what I did when the other person said something I hadn't planned. ## Starting with something we can both see In [the grocery-store recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReIuSd0BgeM), a man was looking at cookies. I commented on the cookies. Afterward I explained what I was looking for: a natural opening based on something we had in common or could both see. That's an example of [how I start](/starting-conversations-when-you-stutter). I see something in front of us and say something about it. Then I have to deal with the response I actually get. ## Taking one opening inside a crowd In [the market recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3NpKI6mGgs), I see somebody miss a trash can and make a comment. I had already talked to people on the way from my car. Those little conversations were part of how I got myself going. I walk through the crowd finding a person and something to say. There are people I have met before and people I haven't. That's what I am showing when I talk about [practicing in a crowd](/talking-in-crowds-when-you-stutter). ## Asking for something I came to buy In [the pizza-dough exchange](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zr2h0ts3-fE), I ask where to find fresh dough, ask whether it is in the bakery, and follow up about sauce and cheese. Then I say, “perfect thank you very much.” I needed pizza dough. That gave me a reason to speak. It was a quick exchange, and I connected it to [talking to somebody each day](/asking-for-help-in-a-store-when-you-stutter). ## Ordering a coffee and saying my name In [the coffee recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLGOtOcUegs), I ask for a pour-over, make my choice, say it is for here, and say, “my name is Craig.” Then I thank the person. [My name](/stutter-saying-your-name) had been so hard for me. Here I was placing an ordinary order while explaining my story. ## Changing the order when the answer surprises me At another place, I ask for a Jack and Coke and find out they don't have liquor. I'd forgotten. So I ask for a Stella. Then I find out they don't take cash, and I ask whether I can tip in cash. There are several things to work out after the first request. I have to hear the answer and respond to it. That's the [actual exchange](/ordering-food-when-you-stutter) I describe in that recording. ## A comment can stay a comment In the bookstore piece, I talk about a comment that didn't turn into a conversation. That was fine. Sometimes it's short and we walk away. Sometimes someone answers and we keep talking. I've also said I failed a lot while learning this. I could be trying to speak spontaneously, somebody would say something, and I wasn't quick enough or I blocked. Those [attempts are part of my story](/when-stuttering-practice-goes-badly) too. ## Why I explain the moment before and afterward When I was discussing a possible outing with someone, I wanted them to watch me, try speaking themselves, and then talk about what happened. I said I would come back and explain what I did, why I said it and how I did it. I called the time before an approach and the time afterward valuable. That was the outing I was proposing. I also said it would be a trial run, because I hadn't done that kind of work with someone yet. What did I notice? What did I say? What answer came back? What did I do with it? That is the work I want to show and explain. ## Related answers - [How do I listen when I am worrying about my speech?](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech) - [Should I record myself when I practice speaking?](/recording-yourself-when-you-stutter) - [What am I promising when I share my stuttering story?](/evaluating-stuttering-treatment-claims) [Find your question](/questions)

Look at what happens before the conversation, what I actually say, and what happens next. I want you to understand why I chose an opening and what I did when the other person said something I hadn't planned.

## Starting with something we can both see In [the grocery-store recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReIuSd0BgeM), a man was looking at cookies. I commented on the cookies. Afterward I explained what I was looking for: a natural opening based on something we had in common or could both see. That's an example of [how I start](/starting-conversations-when-you-stutter). I see something in front of us and say something about it. Then I have to deal with the response I actually get.

## Taking one opening inside a crowd In [the market recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3NpKI6mGgs), I see somebody miss a trash can and make a comment. I had already talked to people on the way from my car. Those little conversations were part of how I got myself going. I walk through the crowd finding a person and something to say. There are people I have met before and people I haven't. That's what I am showing when I talk about [practicing in a crowd](/talking-in-crowds-when-you-stutter).

## Asking for something I came to buy In [the pizza-dough exchange](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zr2h0ts3-fE), I ask where to find fresh dough, ask whether it is in the bakery, and follow up about sauce and cheese. Then I say, “perfect thank you very much.” I needed pizza dough. That gave me a reason to speak. It was a quick exchange, and I connected it to [talking to somebody each day](/asking-for-help-in-a-store-when-you-stutter).

## Ordering a coffee and saying my name In [the coffee recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLGOtOcUegs), I ask for a pour-over, make my choice, say it is for here, and say, “my name is Craig.” Then I thank the person. [My name](/stutter-saying-your-name) had been so hard for me. Here I was placing an ordinary order while explaining my story.

## Changing the order when the answer surprises me At another place, I ask for a Jack and Coke and find out they don't have liquor. I'd forgotten. So I ask for a Stella. Then I find out they don't take cash, and I ask whether I can tip in cash. There are several things to work out after the first request. I have to hear the answer and respond to it. That's the [actual exchange](/ordering-food-when-you-stutter) I describe in that recording.

## A comment can stay a comment In the bookstore piece, I talk about a comment that didn't turn into a conversation. That was fine. Sometimes it's short and we walk away. Sometimes someone answers and we keep talking. I've also said I failed a lot while learning this. I could be trying to speak spontaneously, somebody would say something, and I wasn't quick enough or I blocked. Those [attempts are part of my story](/when-stuttering-practice-goes-badly) too.

## Why I explain the moment before and afterward When I was discussing a possible outing with someone, I wanted them to watch me, try speaking themselves, and then talk about what happened. I said I would come back and explain what I did, why I said it and how I did it. I called the time before an approach and the time afterward valuable. That was the outing I was proposing. I also said it would be a trial run, because I hadn't done that kind of work with someone yet. What did I notice? What did I say? What answer came back? What did I do with it? That is the work I want to show and explain.