# What should you look for in my speaking videos?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

Look at what happens before the conversation, what I actually say, and what happens next. I want you to understand why I chose an opening and what I did when the other person said something I hadn't planned.

## Starting with something we can both see

In [the grocery-store recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReIuSd0BgeM), a man was looking at cookies. I commented on the cookies. Afterward I explained what I was looking for: a natural opening based on something we had in common or could both see.

That's an example of [how I start](/starting-conversations-when-you-stutter). I see something in front of us and say something about it. Then I have to deal with the response I actually get.

## Taking one opening inside a crowd

In [the market recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3NpKI6mGgs), I see somebody miss a trash can and make a comment. I had already talked to people on the way from my car. Those little conversations were part of how I got myself going.

I walk through the crowd finding a person and something to say. There are people I have met before and people I haven't. That's what I am showing when I talk about [practicing in a crowd](/talking-in-crowds-when-you-stutter).

## Asking for something I came to buy

In [the pizza-dough exchange](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zr2h0ts3-fE), I ask where to find fresh dough, ask whether it is in the bakery, and follow up about sauce and cheese. Then I say, “perfect thank you very much.”

I needed pizza dough. That gave me a reason to speak. It was a quick exchange, and I connected it to [talking to somebody each day](/asking-for-help-in-a-store-when-you-stutter).

## Ordering a coffee and saying my name

In [the coffee recording](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLGOtOcUegs), I ask for a pour-over, make my choice, say it is for here, and say, “my name is Craig.” Then I thank the person.

[My name](/stutter-saying-your-name) had been so hard for me. Here I was placing an ordinary order while explaining my story.

## Changing the order when the answer surprises me

At another place, I ask for a Jack and Coke and find out they don't have liquor. I'd forgotten. So I ask for a Stella. Then I find out they don't take cash, and I ask whether I can tip in cash.

There are several things to work out after the first request. I have to hear the answer and respond to it. That's the [actual exchange](/ordering-food-when-you-stutter) I describe in that recording.

## A comment can stay a comment

In the bookstore piece, I talk about a comment that didn't turn into a conversation. That was fine. Sometimes it's short and we walk away. Sometimes someone answers and we keep talking.

I've also said I failed a lot while learning this. I could be trying to speak spontaneously, somebody would say something, and I wasn't quick enough or I blocked. Those [attempts are part of my story](/when-stuttering-practice-goes-badly) too.

## Why I explain the moment before and afterward

When I was discussing a possible outing with someone, I wanted them to watch me, try speaking themselves, and then talk about what happened. I said I would come back and explain what I did, why I said it and how I did it.

I called the time before an approach and the time afterward valuable. That was the outing I was proposing. I also said it would be a trial run, because I hadn't done that kind of work with someone yet.

What did I notice? What did I say? What answer came back? What did I do with it? That is the work I want to show and explain.

## Related answers

- [How do I listen when I am worrying about my speech?](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech)
- [Should I record myself when I practice speaking?](/recording-yourself-when-you-stutter)
- [What am I promising when I share my stuttering story?](/evaluating-stuttering-treatment-claims)

[Find your question](/questions)