{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-050",
  "title": "Why did I keep looking after my own speech therapy?",
  "topic": "Getting started and understanding my approach",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/still-stuttering-after-speech-therapy",
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  "source_markdown": "# Why did I keep looking after my own speech therapy?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nI still wasn't speaking the way I wanted in the places that mattered to me.\n\nI had speech therapy for years as a child, and I also did [a semester of work with a graduate student in college](/stuttering-in-college). There were kind people in that experience. I remember that, and it mattered to me.\n\nBut my own speech outside the room was still a struggle. At school, in front of people, and later in work situations, I wanted something I could [keep using when I didn't control what was about to happen](/stuttering-practice-in-real-conversations).\n\nThat was the problem I became obsessed with: how could I have the speech I wanted in real life?\n\nI began trying things around confidence, how I talked to myself, how I prepared, and how I entered an actual conversation. Then I practiced. There were failures and changes along the way. It took me a long time.\n\nThis is the history behind the way I talk about my work. I'm describing what I experienced and what I kept looking for.\n\nI cared about being able to walk into the next situation and speak. That question kept me working after the help I'd already had.\n\n## What did I actually practice in therapy?\n\nI made phone calls to ask stores what time they closed. I breathed on a tissue to work on breath and control. I worked on easy onsets to try to get words out that were hard for me.\n\nI practiced what I was taught. What frustrated me was my own speech outside the office: at school the next day, in college, at work, with friends, or when I talked to a girl. Those were the places where I wanted it to work.\n\n## Why those telephone exercises felt difficult to me\n\nI remember calling the same stores over and over to ask when they closed. I already knew the answer. It could be Tuesday night, and I knew the store closed at nine.\n\nI disliked making those calls, and having somebody hear me make them was harder still. I described it as next to impossible for me at the time.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [How did I start working on my stuttering?](/how-to-stop-stuttering)\n- [How long did it take me to get the speech I wanted?](/how-long-my-stuttering-journey-took)\n- [Did breathing exercises get me to where I am?](/breathing-and-stuttering)\n- [What would I look for in someone teaching me to speak?](/choosing-a-stuttering-coach)\n- [What do I ask when someone tells me about another stuttering course?](/comparing-stuttering-programs)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
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      "source_markdown": "I still wasn't speaking the way I wanted in the places that mattered to me.\n\nI had speech therapy for years as a child, and I also did [a semester of work with a graduate student in college](/stuttering-in-college). There were kind people in that experience. I remember that, and it mattered to me.\n\nBut my own speech outside the room was still a struggle. At school, in front of people, and later in work situations, I wanted something I could [keep using when I didn't control what was about to happen](/stuttering-practice-in-real-conversations).\n\nThat was the problem I became obsessed with: how could I have the speech I wanted in real life?\n\nI began trying things around confidence, how I talked to myself, how I prepared, and how I entered an actual conversation. Then I practiced. There were failures and changes along the way. It took me a long time.\n\nThis is the history behind the way I talk about my work. I'm describing what I experienced and what I kept looking for.\n\nI cared about being able to walk into the next situation and speak. That question kept me working after the help I'd already had.\n\n",
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      "heading": "What did I actually practice in therapy?",
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      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/still-stuttering-after-speech-therapy#what-did-i-actually-practice-in-therapy",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What did I actually practice in therapy?\n\nI made phone calls to ask stores what time they closed. I breathed on a tissue to work on breath and control. I worked on easy onsets to try to get words out that were hard for me.\n\nI practiced what I was taught. What frustrated me was my own speech outside the office: at school the next day, in college, at work, with friends, or when I talked to a girl. Those were the places where I wanted it to work.\n\n",
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      "heading": "Why those telephone exercises felt difficult to me",
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      "source_markdown": "## Why those telephone exercises felt difficult to me\n\nI remember calling the same stores over and over to ask when they closed. I already knew the answer. It could be Tuesday night, and I knew the store closed at nine.\n\nI disliked making those calls, and having somebody hear me make them was harder still. I described it as next to impossible for me at the time.\n\n",
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      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [How did I start working on my stuttering?](/how-to-stop-stuttering)\n- [How long did it take me to get the speech I wanted?](/how-long-my-stuttering-journey-took)\n- [Did breathing exercises get me to where I am?](/breathing-and-stuttering)\n- [What would I look for in someone teaching me to speak?](/choosing-a-stuttering-coach)\n- [What do I ask when someone tells me about another stuttering course?](/comparing-stuttering-programs)\n",
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      "title": "THE STUTTERING INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX",
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