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  "id": "CC-042",
  "title": "What happened to my speech when I studied in Spain?",
  "topic": "Self-talk, identity and everyday impact",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
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  "source_markdown": "# What happened to my speech when I studied in Spain?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nI went to Valencia, Spain, to study abroad. I lived on a college campus and roomed with friends I met on the trip. My Spanish was hard work. I had taken Spanish one twice.\n\nThat is an important part of the story. I had to pay attention to what I heard, try to translate it and find a way to speak. I was putting a lot into using the language.\n\n## The change I noticed was on calls home\n\nWhen I called friends back home, I noticed how different my speech was. Those were conversations in English. I described the speech as flawless compared with what I was used to.\n\nIt caught my attention because I knew the opposite experience so well. Normally, I could be thinking obsessively about stuttering, replaying old memories and planning what I would say next. In Spain, I was occupied with trying to use another language.\n\nI interpreted the experience through what was happening in my mind and with my attention. I didn't know exactly how it had happened. I wanted to figure it out.\n\n## What happened when I came home?\n\nI've said that I returned at twenty-one asking myself what the hell had happened. The fluency I had there didn't translate into a lasting change by itself. It had been a good breakthrough temporarily.\n\nThat distinction is part of my account. I had seen what better speech could feel like. I still needed to understand how to bring it into my ordinary life after the trip.\n\n## A glimpse gave me something to work toward\n\nI became absorbed in reading older self-help material and trying the ideas. I took them into dates, job applications, work calls and speaking in front of colleagues.\n\nSometimes an idea did not work the way I hoped. I failed many times. I kept studying, applying, trying and refining. I've described about ten years of working things out after that glimpse.\n\nThe trip mattered because it made me think there was something I could understand. It was an experience I had actually had, not just somebody promising me that better speech was possible.\n\n## What this story does and does not tell you about my journey\n\nThe observation was specific: I was working hard to use Spanish, and my English conversations with people back home were much smoother. My interpretation concerned the attention I was giving the new language and the way that changed my usual mental pattern.\n\nI can tell you that experience and what I thought it meant. I cannot turn it into a complete explanation of why another person's speech differs between languages.\n\nIn [my longer journey](/how-long-my-stuttering-journey-took), Spain was a glimpse and a question that kept me working. I wanted to have that freedom in more of the places where I lived.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [What happened to my speech when I went to college?](/stuttering-in-college)\n- [Why did I have to practice in real conversations?](/stuttering-practice-in-real-conversations)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
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      "source_markdown": "I went to Valencia, Spain, to study abroad. I lived on a college campus and roomed with friends I met on the trip. My Spanish was hard work. I had taken Spanish one twice.\n\nThat is an important part of the story. I had to pay attention to what I heard, try to translate it and find a way to speak. I was putting a lot into using the language.\n\n",
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      "heading": "The change I noticed was on calls home",
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      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-in-different-languages#the-change-i-noticed-was-on-calls-home",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The change I noticed was on calls home\n\nWhen I called friends back home, I noticed how different my speech was. Those were conversations in English. I described the speech as flawless compared with what I was used to.\n\nIt caught my attention because I knew the opposite experience so well. Normally, I could be thinking obsessively about stuttering, replaying old memories and planning what I would say next. In Spain, I was occupied with trying to use another language.\n\nI interpreted the experience through what was happening in my mind and with my attention. I didn't know exactly how it had happened. I wanted to figure it out.\n\n",
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      "id": "what-happened-when-i-came-home",
      "heading": "What happened when I came home?",
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      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-in-different-languages#what-happened-when-i-came-home",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What happened when I came home?\n\nI've said that I returned at twenty-one asking myself what the hell had happened. The fluency I had there didn't translate into a lasting change by itself. It had been a good breakthrough temporarily.\n\nThat distinction is part of my account. I had seen what better speech could feel like. I still needed to understand how to bring it into my ordinary life after the trip.\n\n",
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      "source_markdown": "## A glimpse gave me something to work toward\n\nI became absorbed in reading older self-help material and trying the ideas. I took them into dates, job applications, work calls and speaking in front of colleagues.\n\nSometimes an idea did not work the way I hoped. I failed many times. I kept studying, applying, trying and refining. I've described about ten years of working things out after that glimpse.\n\nThe trip mattered because it made me think there was something I could understand. It was an experience I had actually had, not just somebody promising me that better speech was possible.\n\n",
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      "source_markdown": "## What this story does and does not tell you about my journey\n\nThe observation was specific: I was working hard to use Spanish, and my English conversations with people back home were much smoother. My interpretation concerned the attention I was giving the new language and the way that changed my usual mental pattern.\n\nI can tell you that experience and what I thought it meant. I cannot turn it into a complete explanation of why another person's speech differs between languages.\n\nIn [my longer journey](/how-long-my-stuttering-journey-took), Spain was a glimpse and a question that kept me working. I wanted to have that freedom in more of the places where I lived.\n\n",
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      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [What happened to my speech when I went to college?](/stuttering-in-college)\n- [Why did I have to practice in real conversations?](/stuttering-practice-in-real-conversations)\n",
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