# What was reading aloud in class like for me?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

I was new at school in sixth grade. The teacher was calling on us to read a paragraph out loud. She knew by then that I stuttered.

When it was my turn, I blocked terribly. I remember it as the worst public blocking I'd had. I wanted to hide below my desk, but I couldn't. I had to live with that feeling.

That is the kind of [humiliation I remember carrying](/talking-to-family-about-stuttering). An ordinary class task was something I desperately wanted to get through.

## I tried a public-speaking class later

In tenth grade, I chose to take public speaking. I wanted to talk. I remembered standing in front of about fifteen people and feeling intimidated. I got a C.

The way I told it was that they didn't have the heart to fail me because I tried. That was how I understood the grade. My speech was still so hard for me.

## The places where I wanted my speech to work

School was one of the places I wanted to speak well. Later, I kept trying what I learned in classrooms, at work and in ordinary conversations. I failed many times while working it out.

I also [read aloud on my own](/reading-aloud-and-stuttering) to find what confidence sounded like in my voice. Being made to read in class and choosing to practice at home were both parts of my experience.

## What did another person do when classroom speaking felt too painful?

Someone on a group call told me he had skipped classes when he expected presentations, speeches or reading aloud. I asked where he went. He said the playground or the gym, or sometimes he called in sick.

That was his account. I had asked about the most painful part of his experience, and those were the situations he described.

## Related answers

- [How can I prepare without scripting every word?](/preparing-without-scripting)
- [What happened to my speech when I went to college?](/stuttering-in-college)

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