# What happened to my speech when I went to college?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

I wanted the college experience. At the University of Florida, I pledged a fraternity as a freshman and lived in the fraternity house as a sophomore. In one sense, it was a dream come true. It was also intimidating as hell for my speech.

There were people around, noise, girls visiting, parties and conversations happening all the time. I wanted to be part of that life, and I was struggling to speak in it.

## I went back for help

I checked myself into speech therapy on campus. I worked with a graduate student while I was a sophomore. What she taught me came from a textbook, and my frustration was what happened afterward.

In my account, I say I couldn't make those things work in the fraternity house, around campus or when I went out socially. That was the problem I kept trying to solve: the speech had to show up in the places where my day actually happened.

I wasn't choosing the next question everybody would ask me. The place was busy and unpredictable. I wanted to be able to join in.

## An invitation could go well and still leave a hard conversation

During Summer B, there were fewer students around and I felt a little more comfortable. I saw a girl walking alone and asked fluently whether she wanted to get ice cream.

Then I struggled with my hometown, major and fraternity while we talked. I wanted vanilla ice cream and ordered chocolate because it was easier to say. [That afternoon](/dating-with-a-stutter) shows the kind of experience I was having: a step forward in one part, difficulty in the next.

I later described it as a stage when I was gaining confidence and still learning how to maintain my speech and speak spontaneously.

## Spain gave me something else to investigate

When I studied in Valencia, I had to work hard at Spanish. I had taken Spanish one twice, and using it took a lot of attention. I was listening, translating and trying to speak in it.

Then, when I called friends back home in English, I noticed my speech was much better. That got my attention. I wanted to understand what had happened.

The improvement did not simply stay with me after the trip. I have described it as a temporary breakthrough. I returned with a glimpse of the speech I wanted and a lot of questions about how to have it more consistently.

## The work continued after college

I read, tried ideas, went on dates, applied for jobs, made calls and spoke in front of colleagues. I took what I was learning into different situations and found out what happened.

I've described that as years of trying and refining. College is part of that history because it made the problem so immediate: I wanted the life around me, and my speech made it hard to participate.

[The experience in Spain](/stuttering-in-different-languages) was another part. It gave me something to pursue, but it didn't remove the need to do the work in the rest of my life.

## Related answers

- [What was reading aloud in class like for me?](/reading-aloud-in-front-of-people)
- [How long did it take me to get the speech I wanted?](/how-long-my-stuttering-journey-took)

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