Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/returning-to-places-where-you-practice-speaking# Why did I keep going back to some of the same places? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) Some of the places where I practiced became places I liked going. Returning gave the next conversation a little history. I could remember a person, ask about something and have a reason to talk again. At the market, I stopped by a stall and asked about a son I had met before. His mother said he was getting her hot chocolate. I said, “Oh, he's a good son.” She agreed, and I said I would stop by again. Then I explained why I liked that kind of connection. I had already met him. This time, I had a person to ask about. I wasn't starting from nothing. ## Remembering someone can start another exchange In the recording where I tell the yoga-class story, I walk into a place and ask about Josh. I had met him at one place, and he had gone to work at another. I asked whether he was still there and learned something about where he was working. Then I spoke with the person serving me. We introduced ourselves, I explained that I was recording about my stuttering experience, and I asked for a surprise mocktail. She asked about my tastes, and we talked through the order. The question about Josh was an opening based on someone I knew. The rest developed with the person who was there that day. ## Being out became part of my ordinary day When I explained building momentum before going out at night, I said I had already been talking around town and doing work in a coffee shop. I wasn't always arriving after a whole day without speaking. Over time, I described talking with clerks and the person bagging groceries, and having conversations while traveling. I kept thinking of it as practice, but it also became habitual. I wanted to enjoy being out in the world. These were places where I could work, buy something, have a coffee and talk with people. ## Why that mattered to me beyond the first conversation I knew how lonely stuttering could feel. I had spent time standing with friends while things I wanted to say stayed in my head. Later, I described how much I valued talking more and sharing life with somebody who cared. You can ask how something went since the last time you spoke. They can ask about you. There was joy for me in that exchange. A stranger felt like a fresh start when I was learning. Returning to a place could give a later conversation something familiar. Those were both experiences I valued. The market example is small: ask about someone I have met, hear what is happening and say I will come back. It shows one ordinary way a conversation can have a little more history next time. [The loneliness article](/loneliness-and-stuttering) explains why those relationships mattered so much to me. [Find your question](/questions)

Some of the places where I practiced became places I liked going. Returning gave the next conversation a little history. I could remember a person, ask about something and have a reason to talk again. At the market, I stopped by a stall and asked about a son I had met before. His mother said he was getting her hot chocolate. I said, “Oh, he's a good son.” She agreed, and I said I would stop by again. Then I explained why I liked that kind of connection. I had already met him. This time, I had a person to ask about. I wasn't starting from nothing.

## Remembering someone can start another exchange In the recording where I tell the yoga-class story, I walk into a place and ask about Josh. I had met him at one place, and he had gone to work at another. I asked whether he was still there and learned something about where he was working. Then I spoke with the person serving me. We introduced ourselves, I explained that I was recording about my stuttering experience, and I asked for a surprise mocktail. She asked about my tastes, and we talked through the order. The question about Josh was an opening based on someone I knew. The rest developed with the person who was there that day.

## Being out became part of my ordinary day When I explained building momentum before going out at night, I said I had already been talking around town and doing work in a coffee shop. I wasn't always arriving after a whole day without speaking. Over time, I described talking with clerks and the person bagging groceries, and having conversations while traveling. I kept thinking of it as practice, but it also became habitual. I wanted to enjoy being out in the world. These were places where I could work, buy something, have a coffee and talk with people.

## Why that mattered to me beyond the first conversation I knew how lonely stuttering could feel. I had spent time standing with friends while things I wanted to say stayed in my head. Later, I described how much I valued talking more and sharing life with somebody who cared. You can ask how something went since the last time you spoke. They can ask about you. There was joy for me in that exchange. A stranger felt like a fresh start when I was learning. Returning to a place could give a later conversation something familiar. Those were both experiences I valued. The market example is small: ask about someone I have met, hear what is happening and say I will come back. It shows one ordinary way a conversation can have a little more history next time. [The loneliness article](/loneliness-and-stuttering) explains why those relationships mattered so much to me.