{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-029",
  "title": "Why did I stop defining myself as a stutterer?",
  "topic": "Self-talk, identity and everyday impact",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity",
  "access": "public",
  "content_kind": "author_published_article",
  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "61072a78ae542fe1d55590279d79834427b095f84f103bf61ac5052483ed61fc",
  "source_markdown": "# Why did I stop defining myself as a stutterer?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nFor years I labeled myself as a stutterer. But I was so much more. I was a son and a brother. A Boy Scout and a runner. I was an A/B student. Still, I defined myself by my obstacle.\n\nI wanted to think of myself as someone [working on my fluency](/acceptance-and-stuttering). That was a change I made inside my own head, while I was still stuttering.\n\n## The words I used for myself\n\nOne way I have put it is a person who currently stutters. Another is a person who's working on his fluency. I wanted my way of describing myself to leave room for the work I was doing and the future I wanted.\n\nHow could I become fluent while still thinking of myself as a stutterer? That did not make sense to me. I had carried that identity for years, and I did not want it to be the whole picture of who I was.\n\n## I kept the change in my own head\n\nI didn't make a big announcement to my friends and family. I kept it with me. I've described it as making me feel 1% better: just a little bit better that hope was possible.\n\nThat mattered to me. I was already having a constant conversation with myself about my speech. [The way I talked to myself](/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering) was part of what I had to work on.\n\nThis went alongside [practice and the work on my beliefs](/positive-thinking-and-stuttering). I changed how I described myself before I had the fluency I wanted. It was one of the steps I took while I was learning.\n\n## The picture I used in one group call\n\nI asked the group to picture their life as a ruler, a timeline. Think about the age when the stuttering started and the years from then until now. They didn't have to tell me the number.\n\nThen I described putting a long balloon around those years and tying it off. Inside it were the beliefs I was talking about: it's hard to talk, I get humiliated, I can't say my name. The bad memories and the self-talk were in that picture too.\n\nI asked them to imagine the balloon drifting away, slowly, until they could hardly see it. Then I brought in the thought of being someone working on their fluency. I wanted them to keep that thought inside first.\n\nI said right there that I had never described it that way before. I was trying to explain the change in identity I had made. I also said it took time and that there was a lot of work in the mind and in real practice.\n\n## When someone already thought of themselves differently\n\nA person in that call said their case was different because they had started stuttering as an adult. Their identity was already there. They had been thinking that the stuttering was a phase and that it would pass.\n\nI came back to my own experience of worrying about speech. I said that their way of thinking about it had been different from mine and that I could only say what it was like for me. Then I asked whether they remembered anything about when it began, and said it was okay if they didn't want to talk about it.\n\n## How I think about who we are\n\nI've also written that we are defined by how we treat others. Be gentle and kind. Our past failures and successes don't define us. I was all those other things I had named, and I also stuttered. I was a combination of definitions.\n\n## The words you use for yourself\n\nThinking of myself as a person working on his fluency helped me leave room for change. That was my choice. Calling yourself a stutterer does not establish what you can or cannot achieve, and you can be open about your speech while working toward your goals.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [What does fluency mean to me?](/what-fluency-means)\n- [What hurt when people mistook my stutter for who I was?](/being-judged-for-your-stutter)\n- [Stuttering or stammering: what do I mean?](/stuttering-vs-stammering)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity",
  "sections": [
    {
      "id": "reading-content",
      "heading": null,
      "heading_level": null,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#reading-content",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "For years I labeled myself as a stutterer. But I was so much more. I was a son and a brother. A Boy Scout and a runner. I was an A/B student. Still, I defined myself by my obstacle.\n\nI wanted to think of myself as someone [working on my fluency](/acceptance-and-stuttering). That was a change I made inside my own head, while I was still stuttering.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "the-words-i-used-for-myself",
      "heading": "The words I used for myself",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#the-words-i-used-for-myself",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The words I used for myself\n\nOne way I have put it is a person who currently stutters. Another is a person who's working on his fluency. I wanted my way of describing myself to leave room for the work I was doing and the future I wanted.\n\nHow could I become fluent while still thinking of myself as a stutterer? That did not make sense to me. I had carried that identity for years, and I did not want it to be the whole picture of who I was.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "i-kept-the-change-in-my-own-head",
      "heading": "I kept the change in my own head",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#i-kept-the-change-in-my-own-head",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## I kept the change in my own head\n\nI didn't make a big announcement to my friends and family. I kept it with me. I've described it as making me feel 1% better: just a little bit better that hope was possible.\n\nThat mattered to me. I was already having a constant conversation with myself about my speech. [The way I talked to myself](/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering) was part of what I had to work on.\n\nThis went alongside [practice and the work on my beliefs](/positive-thinking-and-stuttering). I changed how I described myself before I had the fluency I wanted. It was one of the steps I took while I was learning.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "b3084b7a3da6a63aa2de3994b3b8b3cc4242f2680544b695a3732609dae00c83"
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    {
      "id": "the-picture-i-used-in-one-group-call",
      "heading": "The picture I used in one group call",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#the-picture-i-used-in-one-group-call",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The picture I used in one group call\n\nI asked the group to picture their life as a ruler, a timeline. Think about the age when the stuttering started and the years from then until now. They didn't have to tell me the number.\n\nThen I described putting a long balloon around those years and tying it off. Inside it were the beliefs I was talking about: it's hard to talk, I get humiliated, I can't say my name. The bad memories and the self-talk were in that picture too.\n\nI asked them to imagine the balloon drifting away, slowly, until they could hardly see it. Then I brought in the thought of being someone working on their fluency. I wanted them to keep that thought inside first.\n\nI said right there that I had never described it that way before. I was trying to explain the change in identity I had made. I also said it took time and that there was a lot of work in the mind and in real practice.\n\n",
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      "id": "when-someone-already-thought-of-themselves-differently",
      "heading": "When someone already thought of themselves differently",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#when-someone-already-thought-of-themselves-differently",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## When someone already thought of themselves differently\n\nA person in that call said their case was different because they had started stuttering as an adult. Their identity was already there. They had been thinking that the stuttering was a phase and that it would pass.\n\nI came back to my own experience of worrying about speech. I said that their way of thinking about it had been different from mine and that I could only say what it was like for me. Then I asked whether they remembered anything about when it began, and said it was okay if they didn't want to talk about it.\n\n",
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    },
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      "id": "how-i-think-about-who-we-are",
      "heading": "How I think about who we are",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#how-i-think-about-who-we-are",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## How I think about who we are\n\nI've also written that we are defined by how we treat others. Be gentle and kind. Our past failures and successes don't define us. I was all those other things I had named, and I also stuttered. I was a combination of definitions.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "c6164fc81764f6632a72e847931c1b569f63282365d6b4a3fec757298a7ba64a"
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    {
      "id": "the-words-you-use-for-yourself",
      "heading": "The words you use for yourself",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#the-words-you-use-for-yourself",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The words you use for yourself\n\nThinking of myself as a person working on his fluency helped me leave room for change. That was my choice. Calling yourself a stutterer does not establish what you can or cannot achieve, and you can be open about your speech while working toward your goals.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "3531a393259f382830ce07f4efd8b9b14eff92802140584d12a8ad0467fda3f3"
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    {
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      "heading": "Related answers",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-and-identity#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [What does fluency mean to me?](/what-fluency-means)\n- [What hurt when people mistook my stutter for who I was?](/being-judged-for-your-stutter)\n- [Stuttering or stammering: what do I mean?](/stuttering-vs-stammering)\n",
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      "id": "youre-not-a-stutterer",
      "title": "MORE THAN MY STUTTER",
      "url": "https://usedtostutter.com/reader/book/editions/corrected-2026-10-04-9e1d376a993f/chapters/youre-not-a-stutterer",
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