{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-024",
  "title": "What do I write down before another client conversation?",
  "topic": "Work, school and relationships",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients",
  "access": "public",
  "content_kind": "author_published_article",
  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "dbf8dd32af13edbb371aae01263699e408a687d63dd044603462e68086936203",
  "source_markdown": "# What do I write down before another client conversation?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nI write down little things people tell me about themselves. A trip. Something about their family. Something they are looking forward to. When we speak again, that gives me a real question I can ask.\n\nThese notes are separate from the business we have to get through. I can know the agenda and also remember the person I will be speaking with.\n\n## Where do the details come from?\n\nIn the conversation with Don, I described the five minutes before the work begins and the five minutes as a call is wrapping up. A person says something casually. That is often where I hear the details I want to remember.\n\nI used the example of somebody going out west to a ranch. Great, I'm writing that down. The next time we talk, I can bring it up. I haven't had to invent a topic or guess what matters to them.\n\nThe information comes from a previous conversation. The next question gives us somewhere to begin this one.\n\n## The example about a client's daughter\n\nI asked Don whether his boss made small talk with clients. He said his boss asked about their families. I asked what that sounded like, and he described quick questions about their sons or daughters.\n\nSo I said to write down the children's names. Write down a detail such as being in college. Next time, there is something to ask: how is she liking college? How is that experience going?\n\nThose were examples I suggested. The point was to remember something the person had actually mentioned, then take an interest in what happened afterward.\n\n## Why was I doing it?\n\nI told Don I was doing this for my speech. I wanted personalized things to ask about so I could start the call strongly. The first exchange could take some of the pressure away from the question of when I would speak.\n\nIt was also a way to give the other person a subject they knew. They could talk about their own experience. Then I had something to [listen to and follow up on](/following-up-in-a-conversation).\n\nI had spent so much time trying to predict words that I wanted a different place to start. A real detail about another person gave me that.\n\n## Public information can provide another opening\n\nIn the same discussion, I suggested looking for something newsworthy about a client before a call, where it would feel appropriate to mention it. I used congratulating someone on the sale of a business as an example.\n\nThat was a possible opening, not a requirement to bring up everything I could find. I was talking about a small, natural question or comment that let us start speaking.\n\n## The notes don't write the conversation\n\nI still have to hear what the person says. The ranch trip might go one way, and the conversation about a daughter might go another. Remembering the detail gives me a starting point; it doesn't give me their answer.\n\nDon said he wanted to start putting this into practice and join meetings early enough to have those exchanges. That connects the notes to [the opening of a meeting](/stuttering-in-meetings): a person arrives, I remember something relevant, I ask, and then we talk.\n\nThat is the preparation I mean here. I remember what they have shared so the next conversation has a little history already.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [What do I reach for when I am suddenly put on the spot?](/stuttering-when-put-on-the-spot)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients",
  "sections": [
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      "heading": null,
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      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#reading-content",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "I write down little things people tell me about themselves. A trip. Something about their family. Something they are looking forward to. When we speak again, that gives me a real question I can ask.\n\nThese notes are separate from the business we have to get through. I can know the agenda and also remember the person I will be speaking with.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "where-do-the-details-come-from",
      "heading": "Where do the details come from?",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#where-do-the-details-come-from",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## Where do the details come from?\n\nIn the conversation with Don, I described the five minutes before the work begins and the five minutes as a call is wrapping up. A person says something casually. That is often where I hear the details I want to remember.\n\nI used the example of somebody going out west to a ranch. Great, I'm writing that down. The next time we talk, I can bring it up. I haven't had to invent a topic or guess what matters to them.\n\nThe information comes from a previous conversation. The next question gives us somewhere to begin this one.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "565c1d2a37e6dcd3bd760a8da4ccca559969ae6ba4031adb052b41dd6d52ae7e"
    },
    {
      "id": "the-example-about-a-client-s-daughter",
      "heading": "The example about a client's daughter",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#the-example-about-a-client-s-daughter",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The example about a client's daughter\n\nI asked Don whether his boss made small talk with clients. He said his boss asked about their families. I asked what that sounded like, and he described quick questions about their sons or daughters.\n\nSo I said to write down the children's names. Write down a detail such as being in college. Next time, there is something to ask: how is she liking college? How is that experience going?\n\nThose were examples I suggested. The point was to remember something the person had actually mentioned, then take an interest in what happened afterward.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "58b22867859f618119faec64431a06fc6df00ac56ac5a65816ab5c234f54e52f"
    },
    {
      "id": "why-was-i-doing-it",
      "heading": "Why was I doing it?",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#why-was-i-doing-it",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## Why was I doing it?\n\nI told Don I was doing this for my speech. I wanted personalized things to ask about so I could start the call strongly. The first exchange could take some of the pressure away from the question of when I would speak.\n\nIt was also a way to give the other person a subject they knew. They could talk about their own experience. Then I had something to [listen to and follow up on](/following-up-in-a-conversation).\n\nI had spent so much time trying to predict words that I wanted a different place to start. A real detail about another person gave me that.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "77eaeb853e2a651a0afde3fb7bfebdaa6f3bed057c257d724afc718b206ff29c"
    },
    {
      "id": "public-information-can-provide-another-opening",
      "heading": "Public information can provide another opening",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#public-information-can-provide-another-opening",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## Public information can provide another opening\n\nIn the same discussion, I suggested looking for something newsworthy about a client before a call, where it would feel appropriate to mention it. I used congratulating someone on the sale of a business as an example.\n\nThat was a possible opening, not a requirement to bring up everything I could find. I was talking about a small, natural question or comment that let us start speaking.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "afeafd28e3c685d6c42a957b733b396028c9eba77343a2b3bbd09dab96c77db1"
    },
    {
      "id": "the-notes-don-t-write-the-conversation",
      "heading": "The notes don't write the conversation",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#the-notes-don-t-write-the-conversation",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## The notes don't write the conversation\n\nI still have to hear what the person says. The ranch trip might go one way, and the conversation about a daughter might go another. Remembering the detail gives me a starting point; it doesn't give me their answer.\n\nDon said he wanted to start putting this into practice and join meetings early enough to have those exchanges. That connects the notes to [the opening of a meeting](/stuttering-in-meetings): a person arrives, I remember something relevant, I ask, and then we talk.\n\nThat is the preparation I mean here. I remember what they have shared so the next conversation has a little history already.\n\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "929e6b76b3b6ff72795964b17f0a8cddd1a34d7206f3a76c4de0285a4071a52d"
    },
    {
      "id": "related-answers",
      "heading": "Related answers",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [What do I reach for when I am suddenly put on the spot?](/stuttering-when-put-on-the-spot)\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "a7ae424d4a531572d3ffdc1f6c674ef424f50ddf7a712e03ea632aa5856121d2"
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  "related_book_sections": [
    {
      "id": "join-the-calls-before-your-boss",
      "title": "JOIN THE CALLS BEFORE YOUR BOSS",
      "url": "https://usedtostutter.com/reader/book/editions/corrected-2026-10-04-9e1d376a993f/chapters/join-the-calls-before-your-boss",
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}