# Why was saying my name so hard for me?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

My name was the hardest one for me. It was the last part of my speech I worked through because I had so much emotional attachment to saying it.

I'd been laughed at right to my face because I couldn't say my own name. “Did you forget your name?” I'd heard that kind of thing so many times. It was soul-crushing.

I even thought seriously about changing my name at the courthouse. I didn't do it. That is how badly I wanted something easier to say.

## Who brought up the name mattered

I described going to a fishing banquet with about two hundred people. The first time I felt nervous was when I realized I would have to give my name at the front door. There was one woman at the table, which felt better to me than a crowd.

I feel more comfortable when I bring up my own name than when somebody asks me. That was something I noticed about the situation around the word.

In [the yoga class](/waiting-for-your-turn-to-introduce-yourself), I volunteered to introduce myself first. When I was ordering coffee, I sometimes [used Steve for the order](/using-an-easier-name-when-you-stutter). Those are two of the choices I've described.

## The introduction I remember feeling calm about

At a ballroom event, I saw Shad Khan, walked right up and introduced myself. I looked him right in the eyes, and I felt calm.

I had been very intimidated by people I saw as having a tremendous amount of authority, power and wealth. That is why this introduction meant so much to me. I was saying my name to somebody like that and feeling calm.

## Saying it during an ordinary order

In [one of my recordings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLGOtOcUegs), I ask for a pour-over coffee and say, “My name is Craig.” Then I thank the person. That ordinary exchange is in [the speaking examples](/stuttering-demonstrations) too.

My name had a long history behind it. When I tell these stories, that is the word I am talking about and the work I wanted to bring into saying it.

## Related answers

- [How did I try again after an embarrassing speaking moment?](/confidence-after-bad-stuttering-day)

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