Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering# What can I say to myself after I stutter? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) First, notice what you're already saying. I used to talk down to myself: I failed again. I can't talk. I bombed that. Nobody is going to like me. Those thoughts were in my head for far too many years. My first change wasn't some enormous [positive affirmation](/mirror-practice-and-stuttering). It was a more neutral statement: “It's too early in the day to hate yourself.” I'm not suggesting that was the best possible phrase. It's the crutch I used. I needed a way to interrupt [the same harsh conversation I kept having with myself](/being-kind-to-yourself-after-stuttering). That was my first step. Later, I explained how to draw on [a small moment when speech went better](/small-speaking-successes). Think about a time you were more fluent than you expected. What did you say to yourself afterward? I gave examples like saying your phone number or address, then noticing a quiet thought such as, “Man, I nailed that.” For me, that had to go [alongside practice](/stuttering-exercises-for-adults). I was working on my speech and giving myself new experiences to think about. The positive self-talk had something real behind it. Pay attention to that conversation in your own head. What do you say immediately after a difficult moment? That was where I started. I had been very good at attacking myself. I had to learn another way to talk to myself. ## How harsh was the way I spoke to myself? I used to talk to myself in a disgusting way I'd never let anyone else talk to me in. I would put myself down. That's how I described it in my notes about self-talk and the crutch I used to stop it. ## What if positive self-talk feels impossible to believe? That was part of the problem for me. If I said something positive and immediately dismissed it, I didn't have much to build on. I needed to be happy enough with myself that I wouldn't just think, “Oh, that won't happen.” I wasn't talking about suddenly loving everything about myself. I needed a place to start. Committing to work on my speech helped. My speech wasn't good yet. But I'd made a promise to myself to put the time in, and that gave me something I could feel better about. I was doing something. The point is to find something real to build on. For me, that included the commitment I'd made and the small successes I could otherwise have overlooked. ## What if it was already late at night? I still said it. Morning or late at night, it was too early in the day to hate myself. That was the phrase I used to stop myself from shit talking myself. I said it to myself thousands of times. You can borrow the phrase or find words that feel right for you. What I wanted to interrupt was that familiar conversation in my head where I kept attacking myself. ## Related answers - [Why did I stop defining myself as a stutterer?](/stuttering-and-identity) - [Was changing my beliefs enough to change my speech?](/positive-thinking-and-stuttering) - [What did comparing my speech with other people do to my confidence?](/comparing-your-speech-with-other-people) [Find your question](/questions)

First, notice what you're already saying. I used to talk down to myself: I failed again. I can't talk. I bombed that. Nobody is going to like me. Those thoughts were in my head for far too many years. My first change wasn't some enormous [positive affirmation](/mirror-practice-and-stuttering). It was a more neutral statement: “It's too early in the day to hate yourself.” I'm not suggesting that was the best possible phrase. It's the crutch I used. I needed a way to interrupt [the same harsh conversation I kept having with myself](/being-kind-to-yourself-after-stuttering). That was my first step. Later, I explained how to draw on [a small moment when speech went better](/small-speaking-successes). Think about a time you were more fluent than you expected. What did you say to yourself afterward? I gave examples like saying your phone number or address, then noticing a quiet thought such as, “Man, I nailed that.” For me, that had to go [alongside practice](/stuttering-exercises-for-adults). I was working on my speech and giving myself new experiences to think about. The positive self-talk had something real behind it. Pay attention to that conversation in your own head. What do you say immediately after a difficult moment? That was where I started. I had been very good at attacking myself. I had to learn another way to talk to myself.

## How harsh was the way I spoke to myself? I used to talk to myself in a disgusting way I'd never let anyone else talk to me in. I would put myself down. That's how I described it in my notes about self-talk and the crutch I used to stop it.

## What if positive self-talk feels impossible to believe? That was part of the problem for me. If I said something positive and immediately dismissed it, I didn't have much to build on. I needed to be happy enough with myself that I wouldn't just think, “Oh, that won't happen.” I wasn't talking about suddenly loving everything about myself. I needed a place to start. Committing to work on my speech helped. My speech wasn't good yet. But I'd made a promise to myself to put the time in, and that gave me something I could feel better about. I was doing something. The point is to find something real to build on. For me, that included the commitment I'd made and the small successes I could otherwise have overlooked.

## What if it was already late at night? I still said it. Morning or late at night, it was too early in the day to hate myself. That was the phrase I used to stop myself from shit talking myself. I said it to myself thousands of times. You can borrow the phrase or find words that feel right for you. What I wanted to interrupt was that familiar conversation in my head where I kept attacking myself.