{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-015",
  "title": "What can I say to myself after I stutter?",
  "topic": "Self-talk, identity and everyday impact",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering",
  "access": "public",
  "content_kind": "author_published_article",
  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "8175f6650ff9ad44655b2e3eecd05c3dc65d532ff3084344af9a3049cd6cb99f",
  "source_markdown": "# What can I say to myself after I stutter?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nFirst, notice what you're already saying.\n\nI used to talk down to myself: I failed again. I can't talk. I bombed that. Nobody is going to like me. Those thoughts were in my head for far too many years.\n\nMy first change wasn't some enormous [positive affirmation](/mirror-practice-and-stuttering). It was a more neutral statement: “It's too early in the day to hate yourself.”\n\nI'm not suggesting that was the best possible phrase. It's the crutch I used. I needed a way to interrupt [the same harsh conversation I kept having with myself](/being-kind-to-yourself-after-stuttering). That was my first step.\n\nLater, I explained how to draw on [a small moment when speech went better](/small-speaking-successes). Think about a time you were more fluent than you expected. What did you say to yourself afterward? I gave examples like saying your phone number or address, then noticing a quiet thought such as, “Man, I nailed that.”\n\nFor me, that had to go [alongside practice](/stuttering-exercises-for-adults). I was working on my speech and giving myself new experiences to think about. The positive self-talk had something real behind it.\n\nPay attention to that conversation in your own head. What do you say immediately after a difficult moment? That was where I started. I had been very good at attacking myself. I had to learn another way to talk to myself.\n\n## How harsh was the way I spoke to myself?\n\nI used to talk to myself in a disgusting way I'd never let anyone else talk to me in. I would put myself down. That's how I described it in my notes about self-talk and the crutch I used to stop it.\n\n## What if positive self-talk feels impossible to believe?\n\nThat was part of the problem for me. If I said something positive and immediately dismissed it, I didn't have much to build on.\n\nI needed to be happy enough with myself that I wouldn't just think, “Oh, that won't happen.” I wasn't talking about suddenly loving everything about myself. I needed a place to start.\n\nCommitting to work on my speech helped. My speech wasn't good yet. But I'd made a promise to myself to put the time in, and that gave me something I could feel better about. I was doing something.\n\nThe point is to find something real to build on. For me, that included the commitment I'd made and the small successes I could otherwise have overlooked.\n\n## What if it was already late at night?\n\nI still said it. Morning or late at night, it was too early in the day to hate myself. That was the phrase I used to stop myself from shit talking myself.\n\nI said it to myself thousands of times. You can borrow the phrase or find words that feel right for you. What I wanted to interrupt was that familiar conversation in my head where I kept attacking myself.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [Why did I stop defining myself as a stutterer?](/stuttering-and-identity)\n- [Was changing my beliefs enough to change my speech?](/positive-thinking-and-stuttering)\n- [What did comparing my speech with other people do to my confidence?](/comparing-your-speech-with-other-people)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering",
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      "source_markdown": "First, notice what you're already saying.\n\nI used to talk down to myself: I failed again. I can't talk. I bombed that. Nobody is going to like me. Those thoughts were in my head for far too many years.\n\nMy first change wasn't some enormous [positive affirmation](/mirror-practice-and-stuttering). It was a more neutral statement: “It's too early in the day to hate yourself.”\n\nI'm not suggesting that was the best possible phrase. It's the crutch I used. I needed a way to interrupt [the same harsh conversation I kept having with myself](/being-kind-to-yourself-after-stuttering). That was my first step.\n\nLater, I explained how to draw on [a small moment when speech went better](/small-speaking-successes). Think about a time you were more fluent than you expected. What did you say to yourself afterward? I gave examples like saying your phone number or address, then noticing a quiet thought such as, “Man, I nailed that.”\n\nFor me, that had to go [alongside practice](/stuttering-exercises-for-adults). I was working on my speech and giving myself new experiences to think about. The positive self-talk had something real behind it.\n\nPay attention to that conversation in your own head. What do you say immediately after a difficult moment? That was where I started. I had been very good at attacking myself. I had to learn another way to talk to myself.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "how-harsh-was-the-way-i-spoke-to-myself",
      "heading": "How harsh was the way I spoke to myself?",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering#how-harsh-was-the-way-i-spoke-to-myself",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## How harsh was the way I spoke to myself?\n\nI used to talk to myself in a disgusting way I'd never let anyone else talk to me in. I would put myself down. That's how I described it in my notes about self-talk and the crutch I used to stop it.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "what-if-positive-self-talk-feels-impossible-to-believe",
      "heading": "What if positive self-talk feels impossible to believe?",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering#what-if-positive-self-talk-feels-impossible-to-believe",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What if positive self-talk feels impossible to believe?\n\nThat was part of the problem for me. If I said something positive and immediately dismissed it, I didn't have much to build on.\n\nI needed to be happy enough with myself that I wouldn't just think, “Oh, that won't happen.” I wasn't talking about suddenly loving everything about myself. I needed a place to start.\n\nCommitting to work on my speech helped. My speech wasn't good yet. But I'd made a promise to myself to put the time in, and that gave me something I could feel better about. I was doing something.\n\nThe point is to find something real to build on. For me, that included the commitment I'd made and the small successes I could otherwise have overlooked.\n\n",
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      "id": "what-if-it-was-already-late-at-night",
      "heading": "What if it was already late at night?",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering#what-if-it-was-already-late-at-night",
      "role": "source_context",
      "source_markdown": "## What if it was already late at night?\n\nI still said it. Morning or late at night, it was too early in the day to hate myself. That was the phrase I used to stop myself from shit talking myself.\n\nI said it to myself thousands of times. You can borrow the phrase or find words that feel right for you. What I wanted to interrupt was that familiar conversation in my head where I kept attacking myself.\n\n",
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    {
      "id": "related-answers",
      "heading": "Related answers",
      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/negative-self-talk-after-stuttering#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [Why did I stop defining myself as a stutterer?](/stuttering-and-identity)\n- [Was changing my beliefs enough to change my speech?](/positive-thinking-and-stuttering)\n- [What did comparing my speech with other people do to my confidence?](/comparing-your-speech-with-other-people)\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "85f7f27f4af403802152cb2f7b7786a9fd9ab3930958db1bc7e4bfd2fb81f0d4"
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      "id": "its-too-early-in-the-day-to-hate-yourself",
      "title": "IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE DAY TO HATE YOURSELF",
      "url": "https://usedtostutter.com/reader/book/editions/corrected-2026-10-04-9e1d376a993f/chapters/its-too-early-in-the-day-to-hate-yourself",
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