Craig Coffeehttps://usedtostutter.com/talking-in-crowds-when-you-stutter# How did I practice talking in a crowd? By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee) I worked up to it. The first time I went to the market to practice, I felt scared as shit. When I recorded the busy market walk later, I wanted to show the little things I had learned inside what used to feel like one huge, intimidating world. It was Small Business Saturday, right after Thanksgiving. The place had food, art, jewelry, people walking around and a magician. There was a lot happening. I could find something real to talk about by paying attention to what was in front of me. ## The crowd wasn't my first conversation of the day On the walk from wherever I had parked, I had already chatted with a couple of strangers. I explained that before stepping into the busiest part. I liked giving myself a smaller interaction before taking on something harder. I had also talked about what happened before leaving the house: reading something I could get into, remembering a small experience when my speech was better and playing music that helped change how I felt. Those were parts of [how I prepared](/confidence-before-speaking). By the time you saw the crowd, I was already using my voice. ## A missed trash can gave me an opening A man threw something toward a trash can and missed. I saw it and said, “Hey, so that was pretty close man.” That was the whole opening. We both knew what had just happened. I didn't have to come up with a subject from nowhere. I commented in the moment, then explained why I liked that kind of spontaneous start. It is the sort of thing I mean when I say to look at what you have in common. Sometimes what you have in common is simply standing there when something happens. ## Football gave us somewhere to go Later I said, “Go Gators man!” I'm a Florida graduate and a Gator fan. We started talking about the team. I brought up having thought we might fire the coach, then how things had turned around and the recruiting class had improved. We also talked about Florida and Florida State. I ended with, “Alright buddy.” The subject was something I was interested in. I could comment, hear the other person and respond. I didn't have the whole exchange written in my head before I started it. That is what I wanted the example to show. ## Some of the moments were much smaller A man looked at me, I looked back and said a quiet “hey.” Elsewhere I said, “Hello. How are you? Good morning.” I pointed out that those small things were ways I could use my voice too. Every person I passed didn't become a long conversation. I was practicing the ordinary moments of being there and talking. ## Coming back gave an exchange some history At one stall, I asked whether the woman's son was there. I had met him before. She said he was getting her hot chocolate. I said, “Oh, he's a good son,” and told her I would stop by again. Then I explained that you can build relationships by [returning to the same places](/returning-to-places-where-you-practice-speaking). That interaction started from a person I remembered. It had a little history already. ## I also talked about when I wished I had left During this same walk, I retold the earlier embroidery-store incident. It happened in a different place, when I had gone to help a friend get a patch made. A man asked me to repeat my name for his buddy after hearing me struggle with it. I explained that I had felt something was wrong and wished I had walked away. Learning to talk in public also included learning that I could leave a bad interaction. [That whole experience](/hostile-listeners-and-stuttering) is part of what shaped my judgment. The market used to feel like one big world I did not know how to enter. By the time of this recording, there were smaller things I knew how to do inside it: have a conversation on the way in, notice an opening, ask a question, say hello and return to somebody I had met. Those are the decisions behind the walk. They came through years of practicing, and I still used them when I filmed it. ## Related answers - [How do I start a conversation when I stutter?](/starting-conversations-when-you-stutter) - [How did I learn to speak in loud places?](/speaking-in-loud-places) [Find your question](/questions)

I worked up to it. The first time I went to the market to practice, I felt scared as shit. When I recorded the busy market walk later, I wanted to show the little things I had learned inside what used to feel like one huge, intimidating world. It was Small Business Saturday, right after Thanksgiving. The place had food, art, jewelry, people walking around and a magician. There was a lot happening. I could find something real to talk about by paying attention to what was in front of me.

## The crowd wasn't my first conversation of the day On the walk from wherever I had parked, I had already chatted with a couple of strangers. I explained that before stepping into the busiest part. I liked giving myself a smaller interaction before taking on something harder. I had also talked about what happened before leaving the house: reading something I could get into, remembering a small experience when my speech was better and playing music that helped change how I felt. Those were parts of [how I prepared](/confidence-before-speaking). By the time you saw the crowd, I was already using my voice.

## A missed trash can gave me an opening A man threw something toward a trash can and missed. I saw it and said, “Hey, so that was pretty close man.” That was the whole opening. We both knew what had just happened. I didn't have to come up with a subject from nowhere. I commented in the moment, then explained why I liked that kind of spontaneous start. It is the sort of thing I mean when I say to look at what you have in common. Sometimes what you have in common is simply standing there when something happens.

## Football gave us somewhere to go Later I said, “Go Gators man!” I'm a Florida graduate and a Gator fan. We started talking about the team. I brought up having thought we might fire the coach, then how things had turned around and the recruiting class had improved. We also talked about Florida and Florida State. I ended with, “Alright buddy.” The subject was something I was interested in. I could comment, hear the other person and respond. I didn't have the whole exchange written in my head before I started it. That is what I wanted the example to show.

## Some of the moments were much smaller A man looked at me, I looked back and said a quiet “hey.” Elsewhere I said, “Hello. How are you? Good morning.” I pointed out that those small things were ways I could use my voice too. Every person I passed didn't become a long conversation. I was practicing the ordinary moments of being there and talking.

## Coming back gave an exchange some history At one stall, I asked whether the woman's son was there. I had met him before. She said he was getting her hot chocolate. I said, “Oh, he's a good son,” and told her I would stop by again. Then I explained that you can build relationships by [returning to the same places](/returning-to-places-where-you-practice-speaking). That interaction started from a person I remembered. It had a little history already.

## I also talked about when I wished I had left During this same walk, I retold the earlier embroidery-store incident. It happened in a different place, when I had gone to help a friend get a patch made. A man asked me to repeat my name for his buddy after hearing me struggle with it. I explained that I had felt something was wrong and wished I had walked away. Learning to talk in public also included learning that I could leave a bad interaction. [That whole experience](/hostile-listeners-and-stuttering) is part of what shaped my judgment. The market used to feel like one big world I did not know how to enter. By the time of this recording, there were smaller things I knew how to do inside it: have a conversation on the way in, notice an opening, ask a question, say hello and return to somebody I had met. Those are the decisions behind the walk. They came through years of practicing, and I still used them when I filmed it.