{
  "schema_version": "1.0",
  "id": "CC-007",
  "title": "Do I have to fill every silence in a conversation?",
  "topic": "Conversations and practice",
  "author": {
    "name": "Craig Coffee",
    "id": "https://usedtostutter.com/craig-coffee#person"
  },
  "canonical_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/silence-in-a-conversation",
  "access": "public",
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  "context_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/about-this-material",
  "source_sha256": "858be05d761f28ce6fb063ad1fdd4a5ff3d703af5e10503f3c412eda124b77b7",
  "source_markdown": "# Do I have to fill every silence in a conversation?\n\nBy [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)\n\nNo. I used to feel like I did, because I was insecure. If the other person went quiet, I'd start filling the gap and keep talking.\n\nWhat I learned was that I wasn't under an obligation to fill every silence. The other person could say something. Or there could simply be a natural pause.\n\nI'm talking about an ordinary pause in a conversation here. I specifically distinguished that from [a silent stuttering block](/stuttering-blocks) when I explained it. A gap between things being said doesn't automatically mean I've done something wrong.\n\nFor me, this was part of learning the art of conversation. I had spent so much time thinking about how to get words out that I hadn't learned some of the normal parts of being with another person and talking.\n\nI could say a sentence, a phrase, or a few sentences, and then give the conversation room. [I didn't have to keep performing](/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter) just because it went quiet.\n\nThat realization took some pressure away from the idea that every second depended on me. Sometimes the other person speaks next. Sometimes we pause. I can be there without rushing to fill the whole space.\n\n## Related answers\n\n- [What do I say after the other person answers?](/following-up-in-a-conversation)\n- [How do I listen when I am worrying about my speech?](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech)\n- [What did I learn from a hostile encounter while practicing?](/hostile-listeners-and-stuttering)\n\n[Find your question](/questions)\n",
  "relative_link_base": "https://usedtostutter.com/silence-in-a-conversation",
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      "source_markdown": "No. I used to feel like I did, because I was insecure. If the other person went quiet, I'd start filling the gap and keep talking.\n\nWhat I learned was that I wasn't under an obligation to fill every silence. The other person could say something. Or there could simply be a natural pause.\n\nI'm talking about an ordinary pause in a conversation here. I specifically distinguished that from [a silent stuttering block](/stuttering-blocks) when I explained it. A gap between things being said doesn't automatically mean I've done something wrong.\n\nFor me, this was part of learning the art of conversation. I had spent so much time thinking about how to get words out that I hadn't learned some of the normal parts of being with another person and talking.\n\nI could say a sentence, a phrase, or a few sentences, and then give the conversation room. [I didn't have to keep performing](/pressure-to-speak-quickly-when-you-stutter) just because it went quiet.\n\nThat realization took some pressure away from the idea that every second depended on me. Sometimes the other person speaks next. Sometimes we pause. I can be there without rushing to fill the whole space.\n\n",
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      "heading_level": 2,
      "citation_url": "https://usedtostutter.com/silence-in-a-conversation#related-answers",
      "role": "navigation",
      "source_markdown": "## Related answers\n\n- [What do I say after the other person answers?](/following-up-in-a-conversation)\n- [How do I listen when I am worrying about my speech?](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech)\n- [What did I learn from a hostile encounter while practicing?](/hostile-listeners-and-stuttering)\n",
      "source_span_sha256": "7db2768863b661e3fc33f986f18ff2b492564402cb37c3f7e915c4374096d45c"
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}