# What is my Once-a-Day Challenge?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

I challenged myself to talk to one new person per day. I was about 14 and still stuttering. I didn't call it the Once-a-Day Challenge at the time. That is the name I use for it now.

I had noticed a small difference. When somebody approached me, I felt intimidated. When I approached them, my speech was a little better. It was still hard, but I had found somewhere to start.

## How did I do it before I could drive?

If I was out at a store with my parents, I could ask a store employee a question. At school, I could talk to a teacher or another employee I didn't know. Once I could drive, I had more chances to go out and do it.

The places I meant were ordinary places, like a grocery store or Target. I was practicing a respectful approach. It was as much about getting myself to approach as it was about what I said when I got there.

## What can one of those conversations look like?

In the grocery-store video, I walked in and saw a man looking at cookies. I commented on how good they looked. I talked about how I used to eat junk food and asked him, “how about you?”

He said he was diabetic and couldn't touch it. I replied, “But you still look at it. Smart.” That was the exchange. Then I explained what had happened: we were looking at the same thing, I said something about it, and his reply gave me something to respond to.

There was no perfect opening I had prepared before walking in. The person was there. The cookies were there. I found the conversation in the situation.

## The work continued when they answered

I used to spend the other person's turn planning mine. What word would I have to say? What could I avoid? I was thinking about speech while barely hearing the conversation.

So part of [the practice](/stuttering-practice-in-real-conversations) was learning to give my attention to what they actually said. Ask something, hear it, and answer. Those simple parts could feel very difficult while I was nervous.

I wasn't waiting for perfect speech. I blocked, I missed openings and sometimes I wasn't quick enough. I was learning while those things were still happening.

## Why did I choose strangers?

For me, a stranger felt like a fresh start. Someone who already knew me could bring up the memory of stuttering in front of them. I could feel as if they expected it before I even opened my mouth.

Someone I had never met hadn't heard my speech before. I liked getting that first interaction. That was my reason for doing much of this practice with people I didn't know.

## What did I do after missing a day?

If I missed a day, I would make it up by talking to two people the next day. I was relentless about this because working on my speech was such a big part of my life.

That is the commitment I described making. [I've also talked about backing down and difficult days](/when-you-dont-feel-like-practicing-speech). The struggle belongs in the account alongside how determined I was.

## What did the practice become later?

Over time, talking with people became much more habitual. I described speaking with the clerk and the person bagging the groceries, or talking with ten or twelve strangers during a day of travel. I kept thinking of it as practice and keeping my tools sharp.

I also valued what could happen when I returned to the same places. Someone wasn't quite a stranger the next time. We could talk again. [The relationships](/returning-to-places-where-you-practice-speaking) became part of what I enjoyed about being out in the world.

The first commitment was one new person a day. The life I wanted was bigger than getting through that one exchange. I wanted to be able to talk, take part and enjoy being with people.

## Related answers

- [Why did I have to practice in real conversations?](/stuttering-practice-in-real-conversations)
- [Who did I look for when I was starting to practice speaking?](/choosing-someone-to-practice-speaking-with)

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