# How can I prepare without scripting every word?

By [Craig Coffee](/craig-coffee)

I have ideas about what I'm going to talk about. I might write a few things down. A few words. I don't write the whole script.

That's how I record these pieces, and it's how I think about an ordinary conversation. I know what I want to get across, but I leave room to find the words and respond to the person in front of me.

A work call is a good example. I can know the subject of the call. I can [know something about the client](/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients). I can remember what they told me last time. That gives me something real to ask about without deciding both sides of the conversation in advance.

I used to do the opposite. I'd plan my sentence, imagine their question, plan my answer, and start worrying about which words I could get out. I was doing a lot of work in my head before anybody had even spoken.

Learning to let some of that control go took practice. I failed plenty of times. I blocked. I wasn't always quick enough to respond. But I wanted to learn to be in the actual conversation, not just keep rehearsing my side of it.

I've also distinguished this from standing up and [reading a required speech](/reading-aloud-in-front-of-people). That's a different task. What I'm describing here is how I prepare for a conversation in which the wording can develop as we talk.

## What do I mean by speaking spontaneously?

I know generally what I want to say. I know the topic and the point I want to get across. What I haven't picked out is every actual word and the order of those words before I open my mouth.

That is how I defined spontaneous speaking in my notes. When it is my turn, I start with the point I want to make and find the words as I speak.

## What would I write down for an important conversation?

In a call with Don, we talked about a conversation he was considering with his girlfriend's father. I first talked about calling him. Then I asked where he lived. He was about forty-five minutes away, on a ranch, and Don said the conversation would be in person.

I suggested starting with a question that got her dad talking about himself. We had already discussed doing that [before a client conversation](/stuttering-with-customers-and-clients). Then I would come with enthusiasm about how much I loved his daughter.

I told Don I would write down the things I loved about her, but I wouldn't read from it. Have an idea of ten things. Maybe you say five or six or more. Then ask for his permission to marry her.

That was how I would prepare for the conversation we were discussing. I wanted him to have something he cared about to say, and some enthusiasm behind it.

## What do I mean by pre-planning to stutter?

I mean the mental cycle I used to get into before a conversation. I'd think about who I was going to see, what they might ask me, how I would answer, and the words I thought I couldn't say.

The conversation hadn't happened yet, but in my head I was already struggling through it. Then, when the person actually spoke, I'd [keep planning instead of really hearing them](/listening-without-monitoring-your-speech).

I called that pre-planning to stutter because of what I was doing with my attention. I was [rehearsing the problems](/stuttering-anticipation), expecting the difficult words, and trying to arrange my way around them.

Those attempts were part of learning. When I use the phrase pre-planning to stutter, I'm describing that old pattern in my own life and the work I did to move away from it. I'm not talking about arriving with no idea what the conversation is about.

## A required script came up in the group conversation

Crimson told me about a fellow officer who stuttered. The officer had gone over the standardized field sobriety test script repeatedly. I asked whether that preparation helped him. I was told that it did.

I liked that example. I told Crimson we were talking for the first time and could still learn from what he shared. He knew an officer who had found something useful for a nerve-racking part of his job. I connected that with my belief that confidence can be learned.

Crimson also said the officer had recorded himself reading wording he needed to communicate at work. He kept the recording on his phone and played it when it was needed. Crimson thought that was something he could use too.

I told him, “So that was a great story Crimson.” We were discussing required wording in his colleague's work. The everyday conversations I demonstrate ask me to respond to another person as the exchange develops.

## Related answers

- [What did reading aloud do for my speaking practice?](/reading-aloud-and-stuttering)

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